Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

There are several number of industries which constitutes a government Although the authority infers economic progression is the vital aspect of the path to development some people believe that there are other progresses which should be in same position wi v.2

There are several number of industries which constitutes a government Although the authority infers economic progression is the vital aspect of the path to development some people believe that there are other progresses which should be in same position wi v. 2
Firstly, education is one of the essential system in the country’s development. The residents, acquiring knowledge in schools or universities, employs in the country’s economic. Those people run their business which is the beneficial for the stock of the country due to the tax which they pay. So, if people within country are intelligent they can earn money, whereas, they pay taxes too. Furthermore, education system bonds with tourism industry. Having resident who knows foreign language, for instant, can be source of attracting investments. In this situation language helps them to investigate with foreign rich people. So, I think, education can increase country’s currency as well as economic. Indeed, economic advance is the basement of country’s improvement. Having a developed economy, which guarantees a good life condition, can provide job places. The authority, for instance, can support another structures in order to open new workplaces such as medicine, transportation. In addition, economic development empowers the country’s global position, by increasing export rate. A high level of export of local products, which more expensive price than domestically, provides the country with an increase in salary for workers. To sum up, while head of the country state aim to economic progress, I think other industries should be included in order to development.
Firstly
, education is one of the essential system in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country’s
development. The residents, acquiring knowledge in schools or universities,
You should probably use "employ".
employs
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
. Those
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
run their business which is the beneficial for the stock of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
due to the tax which they pay.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
within
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
are intelligent they can earn money, whereas, they pay taxes too.
Furthermore
, education system bonds with tourism industry. Having resident who knows foreign language, for instant, can be
Consider using a past participle here: "sourced".
source
of attracting investments. In this situation language
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to investigate with foreign rich
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
, education can increase
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country’s
currency
as well
as economic.

Indeed
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
advance is the basement of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country’s
improvement. Having a developed economy, which guarantees a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
life condition, can provide job places. The authority,
for instance
, can support another structures in order to open new workplaces such as medicine, transportation.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
development empowers the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country’s
global position, by increasing export rate. A high level of export of local products, which more expensive price than
domestically
, provides the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
with an increase in salary for workers.

To sum up, while head of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
state aim to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
progress, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
other industries should
be included
in order to development.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay There are several number of industries which constitutes a government Although the authority infers economic progression is the vital aspect of the path to development some people believe that there are other progresses which should be in same position wi v. 2

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
210 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts