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There are more workers to work from home and more students to study from home This is because the computer technology is more and more easily accessible and cheaper Do you think it is a positive or negative development v.2

There are more workers to work from home and more students to study from home This is because the computer technology is more and more easily accessible and cheaper Do you think it is a positive or negative development v. 2
he advantement of the computer has bee shaped many peoples thel traditional ways of life, especially on the peoples who are in working class and school days. These peoples need to go out for wotk or study prior to the computer generalization. The development of computer makes it possible for these poeples to optionally choose either going out or staying in the home to do their work as they can use computer to access whatever resources they needed. Personally, this new way indeed makes life easier, but we at the same time, cannot ignore the negative consequences behind and this essay aim to explore the upsides and downsides of this approach. To begin with the bright side, the obvious benefit is the cost saving on transportation. Taking Hong Kong as an example, the cost of commuting is ranging from 20 to 100 dollar a day and it can impose a great burden even on middle class family, let alone the family under poverty line. This new model of working and studying can mitigate the financial pressure added on them. Besides, time saving is another benefit as the working adults and students can enjoy the time freed from transportation, especially for those who live far away from offices or schools. However, reaching the conclusion that staying home for work or studying is positive does not mean we can ignore the detrimential consequences behind. One of which regards on reduction of face to face communication. In order to contact people for e home worker or student, It is common practice to use the email, result in setting back their communication skill. The effect will be more devastating on students as it is an essential skill they must acquire in their future. Another negative impact is that the atmosphere of home is not entirely suited for working or studying, leading to distraction. For instance, surrounding with the noise such as television, radio and even people chatting, some peoples may find it difficult to keep their concentration on work or study. To sum up, staying home for work or study have both merits and demerits and it is hard to say which one is outstanding. Personally, the new working or studying mode is seemingly a prevalent trend, thereby, we should put our effort on how to tackle down or at least mitigate the negative consequence so that we can live better off.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
he
Possible spelling mistake found.
advantement
of the computer has
Did you mean "been"?
bee
shaped
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples
Possible spelling mistake found.
thel
traditional ways of life,
especially
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples
who are in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
and school days. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples
need to go out for
Possible spelling mistake found.
wotk
or study prior to the computer generalization. The development of computer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it possible for these
Possible spelling mistake found.
poeples
to
optionally
choose either going out or staying in the home to do their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
as they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
computer to access whatever resources they needed.
Personally
, this new way
indeed
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
life easier,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
we at the same time, cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
The usual preposition to use after "consequences" is not "behind". Did you mean "consequences of", "consequences for", or "consequences on"?
consequences behind
and this essay aim to explore the upsides and downsides of this approach.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with the bright side, the obvious benefit is the cost saving on transportation. Taking Hong Kong as an example, the cost of commuting is ranging from 20 to 100
Possible agreement error. The noun 'dollar' seems to be countable, so consider using: "dollars".
dollar
a day and it can impose a great burden even on middle
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
family,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
alone the family under poverty line. This new model of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
can mitigate the financial pressure
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
on them.
Besides
, time saving is another benefit as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
adults and students can enjoy the time freed from transportation,
especially
for those who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
far away from offices or schools.

However
, reaching the conclusion that staying home for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
does not mean we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
the
Possible spelling mistake found.
detrimential
The usual preposition to use after "consequences" is not "behind". Did you mean "consequences of", "consequences for", or "consequences on"?
consequences behind
. One of which regards on reduction of face to face communication. In order to contact
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
for e home worker or student, It is common practice to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the email, result in setting back their communication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
. The effect will be more devastating on students as it is an essential
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
acquire in their future. Another
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact is that the atmosphere of home is not
entirely
suited for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
, leading to distraction.
For instance
, surrounding with the noise such as television, radio and even
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
chatting,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples
may find it difficult to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
their concentration on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
or study.

To sum up, staying home for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
or study have both merits and demerits and it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to say which one is outstanding.
Personally
, the new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
mode is
seemingly
a prevalent trend, thereby, we should put our effort on how to tackle down or at least mitigate the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
consequence
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
better off.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Mistakes

IELTS essay There are more workers to work from home and more students to study from home This is because the computer technology is more and more easily accessible and cheaper Do you think it is a positive or negative development v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
398 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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