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The idea of going overseas for university study is an exciting prospect for many people. But while it may offer some advantages, it is probably better to stay home because of the difficulties a student inevitably encounters living and studying in a differ v.2

The idea of going overseas for university study is an exciting prospect for many people. But while it may offer some advantages, it is probably better to stay home because of the difficulties a student inevitably encounters living and studying in a differ v. 2
The curiosity of studying overseas among the adolescents has never been faded, especially for those who are planning for university studying since there are a considerable number of advantages to them. However, not every of them enjoys the benefits. In this essay, both side of compelling arguments will be discussed. To begin with the opponents, they believe that these young generations are not mature enough to handle different life difficulties on their own. For most of them, studying university overseas is the first time they separate from their parent. Even though they usually need not to worry about the tuition fee, there are still many challenges which can formerly rely on their parent such as cooking and accommodation that they need to work on alone, not to mention if the student get sick. If they are fail to handle these kinds of basic need, they have no way but returning back to their home country. However, some peoples believe that these living encounters can be at the same time beneficial to the students. Indeed, it is the oversea study that can propel the students to be more independent and responsible due to that fact that they need to seek for the solution for themselves when they encounter different difficulties, especially suitable to this era of students. Taking the example in China, many of the students are bringing up to be over reliance upon their parent, which is the result of one child policy enacted in China. Inevitably, these students generally lack of living skill and usually grow into irresponsible person. Taking them to oversea study is one of the best ways for them to practice their living skill and gives them the sense of responsibility on their own life. All in all, overseas study has both advantages and disadvantages. In my opinion, even though overseas study does have negative consequences and not all students can enjoy the benefits, I would still advocate that the students should take this opportunity as long as they prepare themselves both mentally and physically before starting the adventures.
The curiosity of studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
overseas
among the adolescents has never
been faded
,
especially
for those who are planning for university studying since there are a considerable number of advantages to them.
However
, not every of them enjoys the benefits. In this essay, both side of compelling arguments will
be discussed
.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with the opponents, they believe that these young generations are not mature
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to handle
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
life difficulties on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
. For most of them, studying university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
overseas
is the
first
time they separate from their parent.
Even though
they
usually
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
not
Did you mean "worry"?
to worry
about the tuition fee, there are
still
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
challenges which can
formerly
rely on their parent such as cooking and accommodation that they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to work on alone, not to mention if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
sick. If they are fail to handle these kinds of basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
, they have no way
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
Consider using "returning".
returning back
to their home country.

However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
peoples believe that these living encounters can be at the same time beneficial to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
Indeed
, it is the oversea
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
that can propel the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to be more independent and responsible due to that fact that they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to seek for the solution for themselves when they encounter
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
difficulties,
especially
suitable to this era of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. Taking the example in China,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are bringing up to be over reliance upon their parent, which is the result of one child policy enacted in China.
Inevitably
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
generally
lack of living
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
and
usually
grow into irresponsible person. Taking them to oversea
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
is one of the best ways for them to practice their living
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
and gives them the sense of responsibility on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
life.

All in all,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
overseas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
has both advantages and disadvantages. In my opinion,
even though
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
overseas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
does have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
consequences and not all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can enjoy the benefits, I would
still
advocate that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should take this opportunity as long as they prepare themselves both mentally and
physically
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
starting the adventures.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay The idea of going overseas for university study is an exciting prospect for many people. But while it may offer some advantages, it is probably better to stay home because of the difficulties a student inevitably encounters living and studying in a differ v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
343 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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