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There are more workers to work from home and more students to study from home This is because computer technology is more and more easily accessible and cheaper Do you think it is a positive or negative development v.2

There are more workers to work from home and more students to study from home This is because computer technology is more and more easily accessible and cheaper Do you think it is a positive or negative development v. 2
It is true that technological breakthroughs in computer industry have radically changed people’s lives, allowing us to work and study at home on a regular basis. While I consent to its implication with social betterment, I opine that its negative ones are inevitable. To begin with, the trend towards working and learning at home is widely recognized as beneficial because of two major reasons. Firstly, it facilitate citizens make the most of their time. Indeed, the rising accessibility of computers and the Internet act as a catalyst for launching online learning programs, or convenient business applications, which offer unlimited services. Thanks to these innovations, residents can flexibly opt for times when they feel the most productive to work or study and, therefore, obtain the highest efficiency. Furthermore, regarding to urban development, these advances in technology also make commuting to work and schools unnecessary, or even redundant, which helps ease traffic flow, especially in peaked hours. As a result, if there is a decline in number of vehicles, a huge number of heated issues can be tackle, like traffic congestion, or sound and air pollution. However, the prevailing computer-based working and studying also leads to many challenges. From health perspective, no sooner will citizens apply a computer to their works and studies at home than they spend long hours sticking their eyes on its screen and accidentally acquire a sedentary lifestyle. Consequently, users are more likely to face a number of health problems, such as obesity, refractive errors or metabolism disorders. From educational perspective, it is also foreseen that self-study at home through the computer is detrimental to students’ comprehensive development, especially for ones who are in their formative years. Specifically, due to its lack of real interactions, an austerity in communicative skills may occur despite their sufficient provision of academic knowledge. Briefly, with its merit and demerit, I concur with the view that working and learning at home through computers will have double-edged impacts on residents.
It is true that technological breakthroughs in computer industry have
radically
changed
people
’s
lives
, allowing us to
work
and study at home on a regular basis. While I consent to its implication with social betterment, I opine that its
negative
ones
are inevitable.

To
begin
with, the trend towards working and learning at home is
widely
recognized as beneficial
because
of two major reasons.
Firstly
, it
facilitate
citizens
make
the most of their time.
Indeed
, the rising accessibility of computers and the Internet act as a catalyst for launching online learning programs, or convenient business applications, which offer unlimited services. Thanks to these innovations, residents can
flexibly
opt for times when they feel the most productive to
work
or study and,
therefore
, obtain the highest efficiency.
Furthermore
,
regarding to
urban development, these advances in technology
also
make
commuting to
work
and schools unnecessary, or even redundant, which
helps
ease
traffic flow,
especially
in peaked hours.
As a result
, if there is a decline in number of vehicles, a huge number of heated issues can be tackle, like traffic congestion, or sound and air pollution.

However
, the prevailing computer-based working and studying
also
leads to
many
challenges. From health perspective, no sooner will citizens apply a computer to their works and studies at home than they spend long hours sticking their eyes on its screen and
accidentally
acquire a sedentary lifestyle.
Consequently
, users are more likely to face a number of health problems, such as obesity, refractive errors or metabolism disorders. From educational perspective, it is
also
foreseen that self-study at home through the computer is detrimental to students’ comprehensive development,
especially
for
ones
who are in their formative years.
Specifically
, due to its lack of real interactions, an austerity in communicative
skills
may occur despite their sufficient provision of academic knowledge.

Briefly
, with its merit and demerit, I concur with the view that working and learning at home through computers will have double-edged impacts on residents.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay There are more workers to work from home and more students to study from home This is because computer technology is more and more easily accessible and cheaper Do you think it is a positive or negative development v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
326 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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