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There are more workers to work from home and more students to study from home. This is because the computer technology is more and more easily accessible and cheaper. Positive or negative development. v.3

There are more workers to work from home and more students to study from home. This is because the computer technology is more and more easily accessible and cheaper. Positive or negative development. v. 3
In recent years, with the skyrocketing of the Internet that more and more easily accessible and cheaper, the trend of working and studying from home has been receiving a great deal of public attention. Although, the phenomenon appears attractive, the downsides will be far more significant. On the one hand, there are some positive developments when people work and study at their house. First, since they control their own time and work when they have best mood as well as attention, the productivity would significantly increase. In fact, many people from marketing agencies agree that in their own house, they feel comfortable and high attention to work rather than sit in a crowded office, which makes them create more valuable ideas for a company. Second, if people work and study at home, they will save money by cutting transportation fees. This means that workers and students have more budgets to invest in other important fields, such as foods or courses, which improves their health as well as their knowledge. On the other hand, working remotely may bring some harmful development. First, by working from home without strict control, employees may lose their concentration by doing unnecessary tasks. For example, people working on the Internet may normally spend time on chatting with friends, reading media, newspapers or even playing games instead of focusing on their tasks, which lead to reduce their productivity. Second, since workers work alone with a computer without interaction or teamwork, they tend to get more stressed and overloaded. This has an impact on not only their mental but also their health in a long time, which make them feel unhappy and satisfied with their job. In conclusion, although there are undeniable benefits of working and learning from home, people should also consider the negative development of this trend.
In recent years, with the skyrocketing of the Internet that more and more
easily
accessible and cheaper, the trend of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
and studying from home has been receiving a great deal of public attention. Although, the phenomenon appears attractive, the downsides will be far more significant.

On the one hand, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
developments when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and study at their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
.

First
, since they control their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
time and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
when they
A determiner is probably missing here: "have the best".
have best
mood
as well
as attention, the productivity would
significantly
increase. In fact,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from marketing agencies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
, they feel comfortable and high attention to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
rather
than sit in a crowded office, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them create more valuable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
for a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
. Second, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and study at home, they will save money by cutting transportation fees. This means that workers and students have more budgets to invest in other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
fields, such as foods or courses, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
their health
as well
as their knowledge.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
remotely
may bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
harmful development.

First
, by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
from home without strict control, employees may lose their concentration by doing unnecessary tasks.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
on the Internet may
normally
spend time on chatting with friends, reading media, newspapers or even playing games
instead
of focusing on their tasks, which lead to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
their productivity. Second, since workers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
alone with a computer without interaction or teamwork, they tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stressed
and overloaded. This has an impact on not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
their mental
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
their health in a long time, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them feel unhappy and satisfied with their job.

In conclusion
, although there are undeniable benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
and learning from home,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
also
consider the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
development of this trend.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay There are more workers to work from home and more students to study from home. This is because the computer technology is more and more easily accessible and cheaper. Positive or negative development. v. 3

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
301 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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