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There are many types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important and should it be preserved or is international music that is heard everywhere nowadays more useful to a society? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge. v.2

There are many types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important and should it be preserved or is international music that is heard everywhere nowadays more useful to a society? v. 2
Music exists in some form or another in every culture around the world and it provides enjoyment to millions of people. However, some people are concerned that traditional music is being lost because of the popularity of international music. Without a doubt, music is a necessity. Firstly, the music is important as it provides enjoyment and pleasure in daily life. People listen to music to relax at home, to relieve the boredom of long journeys, and to dance to in the evening at the clubs. Not only this, music is also an expression of culture, often being an essential part of religious ceremonies such as weddings and funerals or yearly festivals. It is also now common in educational development as children learn to play music at school. In considering which kind of music is the most important, international music is certainly useful to society because it can be argued that it helps us to understand and relate to other people, cultures and countries as we all listen to the same songs. This has occurred as globalization means Western music is heard around the world. However, it is critical that this is not at the expense of traditional music. It should be a priority to preserve this since it teaches people about their history, and helps societies remember and retain their national and cultural identity. To conclude, I would argue that one type of music is not more important or useful than another. Traditional music is vital and should be preserved as it is part of a country’s cultural identity, but both are needed as they provide enjoyment to people in different ways.
Music
exists in
some
form or another in every culture around the world and it provides enjoyment to millions of
people
.
However
,
some
people
are concerned
that traditional
music
is
being lost
because
of the popularity of international music.

Without a doubt,
music
is a necessity.
Firstly
, the
music
is
important
as it provides enjoyment and pleasure in daily life.
People
listen to
music
to relax at home, to relieve the boredom of long journeys, and to dance to in the evening at the clubs. Not
only
this,
music
is
also
an expression of culture,
often
being an essential part of religious ceremonies such as weddings and funerals or yearly festivals. It is
also
now
common in educational development as children learn to play
music
at school.

In considering which kind of
music
is the most
important
, international
music
is
certainly
useful to society
because
it can
be argued
that it
helps
us to understand and relate to other
people
, cultures and countries as we all listen to the same songs. This has occurred as globalization means Western
music
is heard
around the world.
However
, it is critical that this is not at the expense of traditional
music
. It should be a priority to preserve this since it teaches
people
about their history, and
helps
societies remember and retain their national and cultural identity.

To conclude
, I would argue that one type of
music
is not more
important
or useful than another. Traditional
music
is vital and should
be preserved
as it is part of a country’s cultural identity,
but
both
are needed
as they provide enjoyment to
people
in
different
ways.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay There are many types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important and should it be preserved or is international music that is heard everywhere nowadays more useful to a society? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
272 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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