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Nowdays, more people are choosing to socialize online rather than face to face. Is this a positive or negative development? v.3

Nowdays, more people are choosing to socialize online rather than face to face. Is this a positive or negative development? v. 3
In this day and age we prefer online platforms rather then real life when it comes to communications. There are several obvious benefits in this new lifestyle though it may have extrimely bad consequances as well. As widely known fact if we adopt this approach we may benefit only in short term. But the long Term consequences will effect our society negatively which will probably take over the possitive ones. Speaking of positives we count time efficiency and joy. For example the online platforms make our social life more sophsticated and more enjoyable. There are numerous tools prepared for that such as emotional smileys, information sharing possibilities, dozens of shortcuts for different reasons and all of them are prepared to make our diving is network more entertaining and simple. This simple ways of our self expression are very time efficient as many of them can be done by just one click of a button. This possiblities are so engaging that many people prefer to socialize through technologies over face to face communication. More ofthen than not it is clear to notice that people are more integrated with their online life than with the real one which in the long run causes in development of negative habbits and consequences. One of the evident drawbacks is addiction to online life which effects on real-life communication skills. Social platforms create an artificial envirement where the user always has more attention, importance and recognition to compare to the real life. It is also well known fact that receiving feedback every time creates a dose of dopamine which is responsible for our happy feeling and users become easily addicted to not real happiness by receiving this doze in bigger quantities than being used to. As a result the time spent online starts to take over the moments lived in the real life and human pshycology starts to experience a regression in non-virtual communication skills. Also attending real life events starts to be uncomforatble and unusual where the need of artificial happiness results in depression and stress which can even lead to paranoia. To sum up all in one, being online can be benefitial sometimes, but with no control on spending time there will effect our real life and even pshycology negatively.
In this day and age we prefer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
platforms
rather
Did you mean "than"? 'than' is used for comparisons, 'then' is an expression of time.
then
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to communications. There are several obvious benefits in this new lifestyle though it may have
Possible spelling mistake found.
extrimely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
Possible spelling mistake found.
consequances
as well
. As
widely
known fact if we adopt this approach we may benefit
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
in short term.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
the long Term consequences will
Did you mean "affect"?
effect
our society
negatively
which will
probably
take over the
Possible spelling mistake found.
possitive
ones.

Speaking of positives we count
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
efficiency and joy.
For example
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
platforms
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
our social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
more
Possible spelling mistake found.
sophsticated
and more enjoyable. There are numerous tools prepared for that such as emotional smileys, information sharing possibilities, dozens of shortcuts for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
reasons and all of them
are prepared
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
our diving is network more entertaining and simple. This simple ways of our
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
self expression
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
efficient as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of them can
be done
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
one click of a button. This
Possible spelling mistake found.
possiblities
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
engaging that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
prefer to socialize through technologies over face to face
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
. More
Possible spelling mistake found.
ofthen
than not it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
to notice that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are more integrated with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
than with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
real
one which in the long run causes in development of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
Possible spelling mistake found.
habbits
and consequences.

One of the evident drawbacks is addiction to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
which effects on real-life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. Social platforms create an artificial
Possible spelling mistake found.
envirement
where the user always has more attention, importance and recognition to compare to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. It is
also
well known fact that receiving feedback every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
creates a dose of dopamine which is responsible for our happy feeling and users become
easily
addicted to not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
real
happiness by receiving this doze in bigger quantities than being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to.
As a result
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
spent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
to take over the moments
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and human
Possible spelling mistake found.
pshycology
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
to experience a regression in non-virtual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
Also
attending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
to be
Possible spelling mistake found.
uncomforatble
and unusual where the need of artificial happiness results in depression and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
which can even lead to paranoia.

To sum up all in one, being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
can be
Possible spelling mistake found.
benefitial
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
with no control on spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
there will
Did you mean "affect"?
effect
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and even
Possible spelling mistake found.
pshycology
negatively
.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
29Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowdays, more people are choosing to socialize online rather than face to face. Is this a positive or negative development? v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
376 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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