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There are many people who go to live in different countries. To what extent should people be allowed to move freely between countries and live where they choose? What are the benefits and drawbacks of this? v.3

There are many people who go to live in different countries. What are the benefits and drawbacks of this? v. 3
Throughout all the times, many citizens ones' state has been migrating in different countries for various reasons. Therefore, the government most popular countries complicated relocation what has provoked outrage among some people who want freely migrate. Nevertheless, countries have not only benefited in immigration, such as fill most unpopular work area via foreigners, but also have a negative impact such as on crime or workplace parts. On the one hand, people cannot decline the fact what all immigrants are different, thereby they uncontrolled entry can worse situation in the country. Firstly, some perpetrators hide from the judging in other countries, however, there they do not forget their habits, thereby the crime level in such country increase. Likewise, different countries have various laws that complicate arrest and deportation after it. For example, for this reason is created the Interpol organisation that has always been searching such delinquents. Besides, foreigners relocate with different sickness, as a result, they or cannot work, or they help illness spread around the world that leads to ambiguous aftermath such as more spend from the country budgets or a pandemic outbreak. Although some people bring in the new country positive impact such as the new specialists in any unpopular work area. Since some people change homeland because want to expand their knowledge about their profession, and they can fill area their specialisation if the country there they go have scarcity such specialists. Furthermore, countries always have workplaces with small wages where citizens do not want work, nonetheless foreign, especially from the poor countries, work there willingly; as result, countries keep the balance of labour force via immigrants. To conclude, the government should strictly control the entry of immigrants for evading trouble in the future, even if they have a strong shortage of labour for an any reason. More importantly, people cannot freely move and live wherever they want due to it has ambiguous influence on the future of the country.
Throughout all the times,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
citizens ones' state has been migrating in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
for various reasons.
Therefore
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
most popular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
complicated relocation what has provoked outrage among
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
freely
migrate.
Nevertheless
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
have not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
benefited in immigration, such as fill most unpopular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
area via foreigners,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact such as on crime or workplace parts.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
cannot decline the fact what all immigrants are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
, thereby they uncontrolled entry can worse situation in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
Firstly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
perpetrators
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hide
from the judging in other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
,
however
, there they do not forget their habits, thereby the crime level in such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
increase.
Likewise
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
have various laws that complicate arrest and deportation after it.
For example
,
for this reason
is created
the Interpol
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
that has always been searching such delinquents.
Besides
, foreigners relocate with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
sickness,
as a result
, they or cannot
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
, or they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
illness spread around the world that leads to ambiguous aftermath such as more spend from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
budgets or a pandemic outbreak.

Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
bring in the new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact such as the new specialists in any unpopular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
area. Since
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
homeland
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to expand their knowledge about their profession, and they can fill area their
Possible spelling mistake. 'specialisation' is British English.
specialisation
if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
there they go have scarcity such specialists.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
always have workplaces with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
wages where citizens do not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
, nonetheless foreign,
especially
from the poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
there
willingly
; as result,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
the balance of
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
force via immigrants.

To conclude
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should
strictly
control the entry of immigrants for evading trouble in the future, even if they have a strong shortage of
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
for an any reason. More
importantly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
cannot
freely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
wherever they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
due to it has ambiguous influence on the future of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay There are many people who go to live in different countries. What are the benefits and drawbacks of this? v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
323 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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