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People will buy a product if it has quality or fulfil their needs. There is no need for advertisement. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

People will buy a product if it has quality or fulfil their needs. There is no need for advertisement. v. 1
There is often argued that consumers purchase products due to their needs and advertisements are not necessary. I do not agree with the statement because the content and amount of advertisements that consumers exposed may affect their purchasing behaviour. Advertisements are the main tools for brands to reach their target group in order to sell their products. Therefore, companies usually try to create ads according to their customer profile by finding what attracts their buyers the most. For example, if the car brand Renault’s new car aims to be sold to big families, the brand making a short TV commercial where a family of four using their very own product’s happily. According to the user experience departments of companies target advertising profits and successfully help companies to sell their products. Additionally, since there are many options in the market in many different fields which being offered by varied brands, which of them sell the most depends on the number of ads the customers being exposed. For instance, if a new toothpaste brand comes to the market where many equivalences of this product already exist, if people see the new one on billboards, at the bus stop, and from Facebook advertisements, they would develop a tendency to buy the new one next time when they need a toothpaste. In psychology, this is called purchasing behaviour. To conclude, although some people argue about how useless the advertisements is, I believe that advertisements are the most important tools in terms of selling a product. This is because by using the ads, brands can easily reach their target group and within the amount of the selling promotion they can affect the customer’s purchasing behaviour.
There is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued that consumers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
due to their needs and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
are not necessary. I do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the content and amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
that consumers exposed may affect their purchasing
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
.

Advertisements are the main tools for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brands
to reach their target group in order to sell their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
Therefore
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
usually
try to create ads according to their customer profile by finding what attracts their buyers the most.
For example
, if the car
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brand
Renault’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
car aims to
be sold
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
families, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brand
making a short TV commercial where a family of four using their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product’s
happily
. According to the user experience departments of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
target advertising profits and
successfully
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
to sell their products.

Additionally
, since there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
options in the market in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
fields which
being offered
by varied
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brands
, which of them sell the most depends on the number of ads the customers
being exposed
.
For instance
, if a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
toothpaste
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brand
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to the market where
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
equivalences of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
already exist, if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
one on billboards, at the bus
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
, and from Facebook
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
, they would develop a tendency to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
one
next
time when they need a toothpaste. In psychology, this
is called
purchasing
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
.

To conclude
, although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue about how useless the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
is, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
are the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
tools in terms of selling a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
by using the ads,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brands
can
easily
reach their target group and within the amount of the selling promotion they can affect the customer’s purchasing
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes
With languages, you are at home anywhere.
Edward De Waal

IELTS essay People will buy a product if it has quality or fulfil their needs. There is no need for advertisement. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
280 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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