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There are a number of different forms of communication and one such form is body language In what way is body language a form of communication What other ways do people communicate with each other v.1

There are a number of different forms of communication and one such form is body language In what way is body language a form of communication What other ways do people communicate with each other v. 1
I believe eating fast food is causing damage to our wellness, the natural habitat and the family eating patterns. This is happening because fast food is increasing obesity, leaving carbon footprints and breaking family bonding. Firstly, consumption of fast food is making people overweight. This is because fast food contains fats and salt, these are responsible for promoting obesity. This fatness is the root cause of strokes and cardiac diseases. As people are eating more fast food the more diseases they are getting. For instance, high intake of salt is responsible for high cholesterol and heart attacks. Secondly, fast food manufacturers are emitting poisonous gases. These gases mix up with other toxic gases and damage the ozone layer. The break down of this layer results in ultraviolet rays entering the atmosphere making people sick. These dangerous rays are causing skin problems in people. For example, scientists reported that ozone blanket is depleting day by day due to emission of toxic gases into the environment. Finally, eating fast food also caused repercussions to traditional family eating habits. This is because most of the young people are usually eating fast food with their friends, they don not like to eat with family. This is breaking family bonding because there is no attraction between family members which used to happen while eating together. To conclude, fast food has devastating effects on our well being, the natural environment and family eating customs. I believe this is indulging fatness in people, toxic gases in the environment and breaking family ties.
I believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is causing damage to our wellness, the natural habitat and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
patterns. This is happening
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is increasing obesity, leaving carbon footprints and breaking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
bonding.

Firstly
, consumption of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
overweight. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
contains fats and salt, these are responsible for promoting obesity. This fatness is the root cause of strokes and cardiac diseases.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
the more diseases they are getting.
For instance
, high intake of salt is responsible for high cholesterol and heart attacks.

Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
manufacturers are emitting poisonous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gases
. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gases
mix up with other toxic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gases
and damage the ozone layer. The break down of this layer results in ultraviolet rays entering the atmosphere making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
sick. These
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
rays are causing skin problems in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
For example
, scientists reported that ozone blanket is depleting day by day due to emission of toxic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gases
into the environment.

Finally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
also
caused repercussions to traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
habits. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
most of the young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
usually
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
with their friends, they
Did you mean "do not"?
don not
like to eat with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. This is breaking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
bonding
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there is no attraction between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to happen while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
together.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
has devastating effects on our
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well being
, the natural environment and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
customs. I believe this is indulging fatness in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, toxic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gases
in the environment and breaking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
ties.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Language is to the mind more than light is to the eye.
William Gibson

IELTS essay There are a number of different forms of communication and one such form is body language In what way is body language a form of communication What other ways do people communicate with each other v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
255 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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