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The bar chart below shows the total number of minutes (in billions) of telephone calls in Australia, divided into three categories, from 2001- 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. v.1

The bar chart below shows the total number of minutes (in billions) of telephone calls in Australia, divided into three categories, from 2001- 2008.
Certain individuals believe that libraries must replace with electronic based computers instead of various collections of volumes. Nevertheless, others oppose this idea. Computers are not suitable to every person and books are familiar to each one. I believe in the latter because one can highlight the sentence and all scripts are not available in digital form. All are habituated to textbooks for any references to clear their doubts on the subject. Immediately by looking at the content or appendix page students can clarify their confusion, which is not clear in the classroom taught by the professor and can underline the particular phrase and note down the unique book code for further references. For example, my project is on the functioning of micro controller 8501. In the library I gathered various information from several volumes about the chip in detail which I cannot even find on the websites. Generally, some people have problems in seeing the computer screen like colour allergy and cause infection to the eyes. All book volumes are not available officially in the websites and management have to purchase from the website and few authors do not sale their patent rights to any website. They just publish in the paper format so that people can carry with them anywhere. These days young people are using various applications on their tablet and mobile phone in order to read books, but libraries are essential for the community to reference of various volumes. In conclusion, in this advanced technology world, people are preferring to read stories and news on mobile phones. But I agree that libraries are not for single personal usage, it is for the public and I urge for people to spend some time in reading to know about your ancestor culture activities and upcoming information.
Certain individuals believe that libraries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
replace with electronic based computers
instead
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
various
collections of volumes.
Nevertheless
, others oppose this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
. Computers are not suitable to every person and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
are familiar to each one. I believe in the latter
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
one can highlight the sentence and all scripts are not available in digital form.

All
are habituated
to textbooks for any references to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
their doubts on the subject. Immediately by looking at the content or appendix page students can clarify their confusion, which is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
in the classroom taught by the professor and can underline the particular phrase and note down the unique
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
code for
further
references.
For example
, my project is on the functioning of micro controller 8501. In the library I gathered
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
various
information from several volumes about the chip in detail which I cannot even find on the websites.

Generally
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have problems in seeing the computer screen like
Possible spelling mistake. 'colour' is British English.
colour
allergy and cause infection to the eyes. All
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
volumes are not available
officially
in the websites and management
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
from the website and few authors do not sale their patent rights to any website. They
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
publish in the paper format
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can carry with them anywhere. These days young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
various
applications on their tablet and mobile phone in order to read
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
libraries are essential for the community to reference of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
various
volumes.

In conclusion
, in this advanced technology world,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
The verb 'preferring' is a stative verb and sometimes the progressive form is not correct. Try a simple form instead.
are preferring
to read stories and news on mobile phones.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that libraries are not for single personal usage, it is for the public and I urge for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
time in reading to know about your ancestor culture activities and upcoming information.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
A special kind of beauty exists which is born in language, of language, and for language.
Gaston Bachelard

IELTS essay The bar chart below shows the total number of minutes (in billions) of telephone calls in Australia, divided into three categories, from 2001- 2008.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
297 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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