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"Some people argue that missing school to take part in climate change protests is beneficial for young people. Others believe that children should remain in school. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.2

A section of the society conceive that deterioration in weather would have an adverse effect on business, whereas is other group of thinkers consider that modification in environment can lead to more development of business. However, I personally argued with lateral view as there would be more selling of product, despite of climate changes. both points of view are discussed in the essay. discussing the former of view, they have two main reasons to justify their position. firstly, if there is an uneven climate then food production is definitely hampered due to heavy rainfall. As a result, the farmer has to undergo reprecurrsion and get trapped into the financial crisis. Secondly, extreme rainfall and flooding may forces stores to close for a certain days. For an instance, in 2001, due to overwhemingly rainfall in India, 80% of the business had incur into a heavy debt. this was because of no customer paid visit to their stores. On the contrary, the opponents claims their own view. the foremost one is that certain items are sold drastically during a definite weather. for an example, especially during the summer days, the selling of air conditioner as well as cooler increases significantly. likewise, poor rainfall increases demand for rainwater harvesting system. these examples clearly proved that hottest summer and least amount of rainfall can impart opportunities for a worker to impetus their production. in conclusion, although many people consider climate changes as bad for their business, in my opinion it is possible to gain huge monetary benefits from such changes.
A section of the society conceive that deterioration in weather would have an adverse effect on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
, whereas is other group of thinkers consider that modification in environment can lead to more development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
.
However
, I
personally
argued with lateral
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
view
as there would be more selling of product,
Did you mean “despite” (or, alternatively, ‘in spite of’)?
despite of
climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
both
points of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
view
are discussed
in the essay.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
discussing
the former of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
view
, they have two main reasons to justify their position.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
firstly
, if there is an uneven climate then food production is definitely hampered due to heavy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rainfall
.
As a result
, the farmer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
undergo
Possible spelling mistake found.
reprecurrsion
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
trapped into the financial crisis.
Secondly
, extreme
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rainfall
and flooding may
The modal verb ‘may’ requires the verb’s base form.
forces
stores to close for
The plural noun “days” cannot be used with the article “a”. Did you mean “a certain day” or “certain days”?
a certain days
. For an instance, in 2001, due to
Possible spelling mistake found.
overwhemingly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rainfall
in India, 80% of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
had
Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: “incurred”.
incur
into a heavy debt.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
this
was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of no customer paid visit to their stores.

On the contrary
, the opponents claims their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
view
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
the
foremost one is that certain items
are sold
drastically
during a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
definite
weather.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
for
an example,
especially
during the summer days, the selling of air conditioner
as well
as cooler increases
significantly
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
likewise
, poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rainfall
increases demand for rainwater harvesting system.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
these
examples
clearly
proved that hottest summer and least amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rainfall
can impart opportunities for a worker to impetus their production.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
in
conclusion, although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
consider climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
, in my opinion it is possible to gain huge monetary benefits from such
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
.
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If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay Some people think that climate change could have a negative effect on business. Other people think that climate change could create more business opportunities.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
256 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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