Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

The world has seen an enormous increase in flights for leisure, business and commercial purposes around the world over recent years. v.2

The world has seen an enormous increase in flights for leisure, business and commercial purposes around the world over recent years. v. 2
Due to globalisation, a paradigm shift of people's lifestyle and expansion of tourism and international commerce, cheap and frequent flights all around the world is quite common nowadays which offers both advantages and disadvantages. In this essay, I shall examine both positive and negative aspects of such flights before drawing a reasonable conclusion. With regards to advantages, frequent flights have made the air travel affordable for many and as a consequence, more people can enjoy the fast and flexible journey. Increasing flights also expand the tourism and business opportunities and thus indirectly creates more job opportunities. Moreover, people have more places to visit, venture in new business opportunities, avail advanced medical facilities in developed countries and learn more by travelling. The frequent travels, in a way, reduce the cultural gaps among people of different countries and bring nations together. Last but not least, many multinational companies can run their operations smoothly across cities due to easily-available air travel and this has a direct impact on creating more employment scopes. On the other hand, detrimental effects of the rapid increase in air travel cannot be ignored. The amount of air pollution it causes is quite alarming. A single flight emits a huge amount of carbon dioxide to the air contributing to the greenhouse effect. Furthermore, airports in cities hamper the peace of local people and increase the possibility of terrorist attacks. Many experts suggest that one way to check the negative consequences of increasing air travel is to impose more tax. Though this might seem a reasonable solution, I, however, disagree. More effective solutions like introducing eco-friendly jet fuel and tight security should be in place rather than increasing the tax which would only burden mass people to pay more for their travel. To conclude, ever-increasing air travel has some negative outcomes like air and sound pollution and threat to the national security. However, imposing a heavy tax is not a viable solution to this and cheap and frequent flights have facilitated people in many ways which are a timely demand of modern people.
Due to
Possible spelling mistake. 'globalisation' is British English.
globalisation
, a paradigm shift of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's lifestyle and expansion of tourism and international commerce,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
frequent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
flights
all around the world is quite common nowadays which offers both advantages and disadvantages. In this essay, I shall examine both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
aspects of such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
flights
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
drawing a reasonable conclusion.

Use "in regard to", "with regard to", or more simply "regarding".
With regards to
advantages,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
frequent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
flights
have made the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
affordable for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
and as a consequence, more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can enjoy the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
and flexible journey. Increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
flights
also
expand the tourism and business opportunities and
thus
indirectly
creates more job opportunities.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have more places to visit, venture in new business opportunities, avail advanced medical facilities in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developed countries
and learn more by travelling. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
frequent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travels
, in a way,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the cultural gaps among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries and bring nations together. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
multinational
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
can run their operations
smoothly
across cities due to
easily
-available
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
and this has a direct impact on creating more employment scopes.

On the other hand
, detrimental effects of the rapid increase in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
cannot be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
. The amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
pollution it causes is quite alarming. A single
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
flight
emits a huge amount of carbon dioxide to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
contributing to the greenhouse effect.
Furthermore
, airports in cities hamper the peace of local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and increase the possibility of terrorist attacks.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
experts suggest that one way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
consequences of increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
is to impose more tax. Though this might seem a reasonable solution, I,
however
, disagree. More effective solutions like introducing eco-friendly jet fuel and tight security should be in place
rather
than increasing the tax which would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
burden mass
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to pay more for their travel.

To conclude
, ever-increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
outcomes like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
and sound pollution and threat to the national security.
However
, imposing a heavy tax is not a viable solution to this and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
frequent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
flights
have facilitated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways which are a timely demand of modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
31Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay The world has seen an enormous increase in flights for leisure, business and commercial purposes around the world over recent years. v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
343 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts