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The woman in the talk is trying to persuade the man to do something. What is it, which solution do you prefer and why? Q5 v.1

The woman in the talk is trying to persuade the man to do something. What is it, which solution do you prefer and why? Q5 v. 1
It is assumed that using genetically modified food would be an end meeting the hunger need for growing world's population. However, it arose introvercial views, it is believed to be unhealthy and harmful to the environment as well as human. I assert that altering the gene make_up plant using biotechnology might prove more harmful than a boon to the human race. This essay will discuss the issue by providing relevant reasons and logic. Firstly, producing genetically modified can be costly from an economical perspective. Furthermore, the use of pesticides and herbicides are increased when manipulating crop genes which could be poisonous for people as well as the wildlife. Spraying pesticides have tremendous effect on human and other creature's health. For instance, in South America, pesticide spraying is causing serious health problems for the people as well as for other forms of life. Consequently, this might culminate into some chronic diseases or even worse, it might even lead to new diseases into the future generation. Secondly, GM crops are assumed to change the whole ecosystems. As being biotechnology altered, the crops are resistant to predators. Moreover, long term effects of GM foods are still a matter of research. They might prove to be toxic to certain organism such as bees or butterflies. For example, a research has shown that bees, being an important pollinator of many crops, might endanger their existence. Therefore many developing countries are moving toward ecological farming, which is safer. Without a shadow of doubt, I believe that GM food does affect our health and wellbeing in spite of Food and Drug Administration claiming that are safe. The claim of ending the world hunger is a myth, as it is not caused by a shortage of food production, but by mismanagement and lack of access to them brought by various political and social causes.
It
is assumed
that using
genetically
modified
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
would be an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
meeting the hunger need for growing world's population.
However
, it arose
Possible spelling mistake found.
introvercial
views, it
is believed
to be unhealthy and harmful to the environment
as well
as human. I assert that altering the gene
In standard English, a word does not contain an underscore character (_). Make sure that the word 'make _ up' is correct.
make_up
plant using biotechnology
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
prove more harmful than a boon to the human race. This essay will discuss the issue by providing relevant reasons and logic.

Firstly
, producing
genetically
modified can be costly from an economical perspective.
Furthermore
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of pesticides and herbicides
are increased
when manipulating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crop
genes which could be poisonous for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
as well
as the wildlife. Spraying pesticides have tremendous effect on human and other creature's health.
For instance
, in South America, pesticide spraying is causing serious health problems for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
as well
as for other forms of life.
Consequently
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
culminate into
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
chronic diseases or even worse, it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
even lead to new diseases into the future generation.

Secondly
, GM
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crops
are assumed
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the whole ecosystems. As being biotechnology altered, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crops
are resistant to predators.
Moreover
, long term effects of GM
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
are
still
a matter of research. They
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
prove to be toxic to certain organism such as bees or butterflies.
For example
,
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "research".
a research
has shown that bees, being an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
pollinator of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crops
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
endanger their existence.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing countries
are moving toward ecological farming, which is safer.

Without a shadow of doubt, I believe that GM
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
does affect our health and
Possible spelling mistake found.
wellbeing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
in spite of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Food
and Drug Administration claiming that are safe. The claim of ending the world hunger is a myth, as it is not caused by a shortage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
production,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
by mismanagement and lack of access to them brought by various political and social causes.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay The woman in the talk is trying to persuade the man to do something. What is it, which solution do you prefer and why? Q5 v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
306 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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