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In parts of the world there is continuous coverage of sport on television. Some people believe the young should take part in any sport themselves. Discuss the view and give your own opinion. v.1

In parts of the world there is continuous coverage of sport on television. Some people believe the young should take part in any sport themselves. Discuss the view and give your own opinion. v. 1
There is no denying that sports have been overwhelming on the media such as television or radio owing to the increasing interest of people towards them. However, it is thought that youngsters must come forward to take part in these games. I concur with this notion and reasons behind this view will be discussed in the upcoming paragraphs. To inaugurate with, sports have been proved beneficial for the individuals to remain fit as a fiddle. To elaborate it, when masses play a physical game, it helps to enhance their cognitive skills. Along with improved mental ability, when a person plays a game, he needs to move his muscles. Consequently, these sports are helpful to remain fit physically and mentally. For an instance, a survey was conducted by a sports championship group revealed that in Britain the youngsters are physically fit who are a member of a cricket team. Furthermore, sports are the best way to bring name and fame to a country, as when youngsters take part in distinct games, they have to compete with players of different nations. Thus, they communicate with foreign sports players and make good relations with them. Also, it is the pride of a nation to win a match by their citizens. Hence, youth portray the pivotal role in raising the image of a country in respective of good bonding and performance. For example, Virat Kohli, who is eminent cricket in India, has won many cricket matches helped India to raise its status globally. Last but not the least, games are effective to keep the individuals away from stress, since the life of today is too stressful which sometimes leads to suicide by the masses. Therefore, games are very effective to supersede the depression and mental stress as masses when play with others, it is the time they can share their problems with others or forget them for some time. For an example, a medical research has concluded that stress among people is only 10 percentage while playing games. From the above mentioned view, the game is a boon for the world as well as for the masses who play it in terms of converting the developing country into developed one and increasing the count of healthy young ones.
There is no denying that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
have been overwhelming on the media such as television or radio owing to the increasing interest of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
towards them.
However
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that youngsters
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
forward to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
. I concur with this notion and reasons behind this view will
be discussed
in the upcoming paragraphs.

To inaugurate with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
have
been proved
beneficial for the individuals to remain fit as a fiddle. To elaborate it, when masses
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
a physical game, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to enhance their cognitive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. Along with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
mental ability, when a person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plays
a game, he needs to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
his muscles.
Consequently
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
are helpful to remain fit
physically
and mentally. For an instance, a survey
was conducted
by a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
championship group revealed that in Britain the youngsters are
physically
fit who are a member of a cricket team.

Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
are the best way to bring name and fame to a country, as when youngsters
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in distinct
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
compete with players of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
nations.
Thus
, they communicate with foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
players and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
relations with them.
Also
, it is the pride of a nation to win a match by their citizens.
Hence
, youth portray the pivotal role in raising the image of a country in respective of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
bonding and performance.
For example
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Virat
Possible spelling mistake found.
Kohli
, who is eminent cricket in India, has won
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cricket matches
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
India to raise its status globally. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not the least,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
are effective to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
the individuals away from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
, since the life of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
is too stressful which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
leads to suicide by the masses.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
effective to supersede the depression and mental
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
as masses when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
with others, it is the time they can share their problems with others or forget them for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
time. For an example, a medical research has concluded that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
among
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
10 percentage while playing games.

From the above mentioned view, the game is a boon for the world
as well
as for the masses who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
it in terms of converting the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing country
into developed one and increasing the count of healthy young ones.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay In parts of the world there is continuous coverage of sport on television. Some people believe the young should take part in any sport themselves. Discuss the view and give your own opinion. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
374 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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