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A friend is trying to reduce living expenses. This person is trying to decide among the following three ways to do this: -Find a roommate (housemate) who can share living expenses-Buy new technology products such as the latest mobile (cell phone), -Buy les v.1

A friend is trying to reduce living expenses. This person is trying to decide among the following three ways to do this: -Find a roommate (housemate) who can share living expenses-Buy new technology products such as the latest mobile (cell phone), -Buy les v. 1
We are becoming more technology oriented with each day, one of the examples is our essay topic wherein we will talk about the advantages that have suppressed the minus points of the organisation related decisions taking place online. Firstly, let us talk about the advantages we have got by using this online mode. Nowadays, we see that from school coachings, giving interviews and cracking deals with the clients everything happens online. The internet world era has given us a relief because now you don not have to wake up hours before to travel miles in order to attend a meeting. So, I feel it is a boon in today's time. Secondly, let us consider how the plus points of the human created world have covered up the disadvantages of the same. By using the technology wisely for trade, we definitely can make our lives less difficult, because the use of the internet for business meetings and business training is not only saving the time and energy, but giving us a better health also, because I there are countries in which pollution has increased up to a level that people find it difficult to breathe if they go out without surgical masks. It also helps to decrease traffic and as a result of its pollution too. So, this practice definitely have got several huge advantages to sideline any of the weak points. Overall, I definitely do agree with the statement that online practice has a number of huge advantages that the disadvantages have got suppressed and I support this practice too.
We are becoming more technology oriented with each day, one of the examples is our essay topic wherein we will talk about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantages
that have suppressed the minus points of the
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
related decisions taking place online.

Firstly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
us talk about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantages
we have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
by using this online mode. Nowadays, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that from school
Possible spelling mistake found.
coachings
, giving interviews and cracking deals with the clients everything happens online. The internet world era has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
us a relief
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
you
Did you mean "do not"?
don not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
wake up hours
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
to travel miles in order to attend a meeting.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, I feel it is a boon in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's time.

Secondly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
us consider how the plus points of the human created world have covered up the disadvantages of the same. By using the technology
wisely
for trade, we definitely can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
less difficult,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of the internet for business meetings and business training is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
saving the time and energy,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
giving us a better health
also
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I there
Did you mean "am" or "ate"?
are
countries in which pollution has increased up to a level that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
find it difficult to breathe if they go out without surgical masks. It
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to decrease traffic and
as a result
of its pollution too.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, this practice definitely have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
several huge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantages
to sideline any of the weak points.

Overall
, I definitely do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement that online practice has a number of huge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantages
that the disadvantages have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
suppressed and I support this practice too.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay A friend is trying to reduce living expenses. This person is trying to decide among the following three ways to do this: -Find a roommate (housemate) who can share living expenses-Buy new technology products such as the latest mobile (cell phone), -Buy les v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
260 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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