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The widespread use of the internet has a bad effect on people development. What are the problems Suggest some solution v.2

The widespread use of the internet has a bad effect on people development. What are the problems Suggest some solution v. 2
I am convinced technology is being required in order to solve problems such as studies, business, other problems. However, it can be frequently seen that, many problems has been taken by the web utilisation. This essay intends to provides many of the concern behind this and also contribute some solid solutions to tackle this problem. To embark on, people waste their most of the time on social media websites. Although social media apps used to get in touch with our dear ones regardless of the distance, it has more detrimental effects on the development of people future. Since masses tend to utilise such social websites in an inappropriate way, it can affect bad on building the future. For example, using social dark websites is not be beneficial for people because it has those crime work such as, drug delivery, congestion of girls or so on. So defiantly the social apps is being used in weird way. Moreover, people cannot like to going at more palaces because of use of the internet. As information of culture places is being provided by the web, such places cannot be visited. Internet has more knowledge of majorities of places. Although, there are a lot of reasons are responsible for this, still some solution can be able to mitigate this approach. Strict rules should be imparted by the authorities. Because the internet leads to this worlds, with some rules people must stop to over and hazard use of internet and those kind of rules should be made by governments such as availability of internet, close the dark websites or so on. Another solution of this about make more interest on visit more places as much as people can and because of that they can able to use the web in limited way. Even though the economy of nations would be raised, people may find more way to use the internet in a splendid way at that places with culture availability. In conclusion, usages of websites people waste more time in the web and sometimes it is danger for their future, but still with some splendid solution masses can break the whole use of internet that I have been mentioned above.
I
am convinced
technology is
being required
in order to solve problems such as studies, business, other problems.
However
, it can be
frequently
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
problems has
been taken
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
web
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilisation' is British English.
utilisation
. This essay intends to
The verb after "to" should be in the base form: "provide".
provides
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of the concern behind this and
also
contribute
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
solid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solutions
to tackle this problem.

To embark on,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
waste their most of the time on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
media websites. Although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
media apps
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
in touch with our dear ones regardless of the distance, it has more detrimental effects on the development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
future. Since masses tend to
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilise' is British English.
utilise
such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
websites
Consider replacing "in an inappropriate way" with the adverb for "inappropriate"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in an inappropriate way
, it can affect
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
on building the future.
For example
, using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
dark websites is not
Consider using a past participle here: "been".
be
beneficial for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it has
Did you mean "this crime" or "those crimes"?
those crime
work such as, drug delivery, congestion of girls or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
defiantly
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
apps is being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in weird way.

Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
cannot like to going at more palaces
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of the internet. As information of culture
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
is
being provided
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
web
, such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
cannot
be visited
. Internet has more knowledge of majorities of places.

Although, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
reasons are responsible for this,
still
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solution
can be able to mitigate this approach. Strict
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
should
be imparted
by the authorities.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
the internet leads to
Did you mean "these"?
this
worlds, with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
to over and hazard
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of internet and
Did you mean "this kind" or "those kinds"?
those kind
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
should
be made
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
such as availability of internet, close the dark websites or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. Another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solution
of this about
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
more interest on visit more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
as much as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of that they
Please check whether one of these words is redundant.
can able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
web
in limited way.
Even though
the economy of nations would
be raised
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may find more way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the internet
Consider replacing "in a splendid way" with the adverb for "splendid"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a splendid way
at that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
with culture availability.

In conclusion
, usages of websites
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
waste more time in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
web
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
for their future,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
still
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
splendid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solution
masses can break the whole
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of internet that I have
been mentioned
above.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
25Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Mistakes
The most intimate temper of a people, its deepest soul, is above all in its language.
Jules Michelet

IELTS essay The widespread use of the internet has a bad effect on people development. What are the problems Suggest some solution v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
365 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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