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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? “Overall, the widespread use of the internet has a mostly positive effect on life in today’s world. ” Use reasons and details to support your opinion. v.10

“Overall, the widespread use of the internet has a mostly positive effect on life in today’s world. ” Use reasons and details to support your opinion. v. 10
Most people agree that modern technology has dramatically affects society in numerous ways. In my opinion, getting access to the Internet is enormously beneficial to both individuals and communities as a whole. I strongly agree this statement for 2 reasons. The bases for my views are education and better health care. First and foremost, with the advance of technology, students have a high chance of diving into a wide range of information. They can just click the button and everything they want to absorb will appear within a few seconds. Moreover, not only receive the convenience of technology, students can arrange time comfortably. When they have any problem, they can ask the teacher to learn online. For example, in 2019, one disease which known as Covid 19 suddenly appeared and killed hundreds of people, students have to stay at home. The best solution in that time for youngsters is studying online with teachers. Therefore, students can enhance social skills such as dependent study skills. More importantly, the use of internet has given a great advantage in terms of wellness especially healthcare. Contrary to the past, when people even had to walk hundreds of kilometer to have an appointment with a doctor. Yet, nowadays, patients can conveniently utilize the Internet to schedule medical appointments or buy medicine. In addition, patients search the popular diseases and the ways to protect against it. For instance, fever is the common disease that most people have to face. Nevertheless, in the Internet, they have some ruses like drinking hot ginger will dispel the illness and increase the antibody. As a result, patients promptly recover from the illness and stimulate their health. In conclusion, the Internet has helped people a lot in myriad kinds of field. I strongly believe that in the future, internet will become power tools to enhance and connect the world. Therefore, it is imperative that more and more people be encouraged to maintain and improve the benefits of widespread Internet.
Most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that modern technology has
dramatically
affects society in numerous ways. In my opinion, getting access to the Internet is
enormously
beneficial to both individuals and communities as a whole. I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
this statement for 2 reasons. The bases for my views are education and better health care.

First
and foremost, with the advance of technology,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
have a high chance of diving into a wide range of information. They can
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
click the button and everything they want to absorb will appear within a few seconds.
Moreover
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
receive the convenience of technology,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can arrange time
comfortably
. When they have any problem, they can ask the teacher to learn online.
For example
, in 2019, one disease which known as
Did you mean "COVID-19" or the alternative spelling "Covid-19" (= coronavirus)?
Covid 19
suddenly
appeared and killed hundreds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
stay at home. The best solution in that time for youngsters is studying online with teachers.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can enhance social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
such as dependent study
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.

More
importantly
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of internet has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
a great advantage in terms of wellness
especially
healthcare. Contrary to the past, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
even had to walk hundreds of kilometer to have an appointment with a doctor.
Yet
, nowadays, patients can
conveniently
utilize the Internet to schedule medical appointments or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
medicine.
In addition
, patients search the popular diseases and the ways to protect against it.
For instance
, fever is the common disease that most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
face.
Nevertheless
,
The usual collocation for technology is "on," not "in." It is better to say this: "on the Internet".
in the Internet
, they have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
ruses like drinking hot ginger will dispel the illness and increase the antibody.
As a result
, patients
promptly
recover from the illness and stimulate their health.

In conclusion
, the Internet has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
a lot in myriad kinds of field. I
strongly
believe that in the future, internet will become power tools to enhance and connect the world.
Therefore
, it is imperative that more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
be encouraged
to maintain and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the benefits of widespread Internet.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
10Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay “Overall, the widespread use of the internet has a mostly positive effect on life in today’s world. ” Use reasons and details to support your opinion. v. 10

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
328 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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