Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

The use mobile phones is as antisocial as smoking. Smoking is banned at certain places and so mobile phones should also be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.2

The use mobile phones is as antisocial as smoking. Smoking is banned at certain places and so mobile phones should also be banned. v. 2
Nowadays it is undeniable fact that, mobile phone is used to be in either bad or good way. It is frequently common believe that, utilisation of mobile phones is hazardous as like smoking for the society. As smoking is rejected at counted places, use of mobile phones should close at those places. I partially disagree with this statement, following paragraph intends to analyse my opinion to this approach. To embark on, mobile phones provides a range of knowledge and services as we intend. Whenever, people feel that, smoking must be required then they can search the side effects of smoking in mobile phones so it can aid at a extent for masses. For example, nutreano+ application contribute the ideas of how to leave smoking and this application is only available in mobile phones. Besides this, mobile phones also help us to making a splendid communication with people, while people speak smoking their sound does not be perfect but if they communicate with the aid of mobile phone sound seems to be ideal. Moreover, if mobile phones used in a fair way, people can discern an importance of society. A such app in mobile provide a knowledge of behaviour of society, this people can understand how to behave. Apart from this, although mobile phones utilised as more precious than smoking, there are minor disadvantages of that. There is no difference between use of smoking and mobile phones at public places, majorities of masses use mobile as just like smoking in front of people and it can also damage hope of another people. For instance, people use mobile at bus station for different purposes, talking, cheating or saw on, so it can effect badly on another people behaviour. In conclusion, mobile phones utilised as equally as smoking at public places, but government should not be close service of mobile phone at certain places apart from bus station, because it is entirely beneficial for people that I have been mentioned above
Nowadays it is undeniable fact that, mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to be in either
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
way. It is
frequently
common believe that,
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilisation' is British English.
utilisation
of mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
is hazardous as like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
for the society. As
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
is rejected
at counted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
should close at those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
. I
partially
disagree with this statement, following paragraph intends to
Possible spelling mistake. 'analyse' is British English.
analyse
my opinion to this approach.

To embark on, mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
provides a range of knowledge and services as we intend. Whenever,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
feel that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be required
then they can search the side effects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
in mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it can aid at
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
extent for masses.
For example
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
nutreano
+ application contribute the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
of how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
and this application is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
available in mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
.
Besides
this, mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us to making a splendid communication with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
speak
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
their sound does not be perfect
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
if they communicate with the aid of mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
sound seems to be ideal.

Moreover
, if mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
way,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can discern an importance of society. A such app in mobile provide a knowledge of
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
of society, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can understand how to behave.

Apart from this, although mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilised' is British English.
utilised
as more precious than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
, there are minor disadvantages of that. There is no difference between
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
and mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
at public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
, majorities of masses
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
mobile as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
Comparison is written 'as just "as"'.
like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
in front of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and it can
also
damage hope of another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
mobile at bus station for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
purposes, talking, cheating or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
on,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it can effect
badly
on another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
.

In conclusion
, mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilised' is British English.
utilised
as
Use either "equally" or "as" on its own. When comparing two nouns, use "just as".
equally as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
at public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should not be close service of mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
at certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
apart from bus station,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is
entirely
beneficial for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that I have
been mentioned
above
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
38Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Mistakes
You can never understand one language until you understand at least two.
Geoffrey Willans

IELTS essay The use mobile phones is as antisocial as smoking. Smoking is banned at certain places and so mobile phones should also be banned. v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
327 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts