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The use of social networking has increased dramatically these days. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of social networking and give your own opinion. v.2

The use of social networking has increased dramatically these days. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of social networking and give your own opinion. v. 2
The information age today has created conditions for people to communicate, share interests, ideas by using social networks. It can be said that social networking connects people all over the world. However, this has the advantages and disadvantages, and I believe that the benefits are more than drawbacks. In this essay, I will explain both sides. Social networking bring many benefits. One of the most important advantages is communication between people that they can keep in touch with their friends and family easily, even make news friends from different places in the world. For example, the use of Facebook allows them to chat or call video anywhere and anytime with who live far away from them. Moreover, online shopping help people save time to buy anythings. They just need to sit at home and buy what they want such as books, clothes from online sites without wasting time to go to shop or bookstores. Similarly, some people use internet to sell goods and banner ads online to attract customer. On the other hand, there are some drawbacks of social networking. These days, many people are addicted to the internet and are time-consuming because they spend too much time on the internet compared to other activities. This can affect their health and relationships. In addition, making news friends from social networking cause to get frauds easily because we do not know who he or she is and what they are like. In conclusion, although this trend bring many benefits for people, we should prevent some drawbacks of social networking.
The information age
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
has created conditions for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to communicate, share interests,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
by using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networks. It can
be said
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking connects
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
all over the world.
However
, this has the advantages and disadvantages, and I believe that the benefits are more than drawbacks. In this essay, I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
both sides.

Social networking bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits. One of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
advantages is communication between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
in touch with their friends and family
easily
, even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
news friends from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
places in the world.
For example
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of Facebook
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
them to chat or call video anywhere and anytime with who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
far away from them.
Moreover
, online shopping
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
save time to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
anythings. They
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
need to sit at home and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
what they want such as books, clothes from online sites without wasting time to go to shop or bookstores.
Similarly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
internet to sell
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
and banner ads online to attract customer.

On the other hand
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking. These days,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are addicted
to the internet and are time-consuming
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they spend too much time on the internet compared to other activities. This can affect their health and relationships.
In addition
, making news friends from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking cause to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
frauds
easily
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
we do not know who he or she is and what they are like.

In conclusion
, although
The verb 'bring' is plural. Did you mean: "this trend brings"? Did you use a verb instead of a noun?
this trend bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, we should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
12Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay The use of social networking has increased dramatically these days. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of social networking and give your own opinion. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
258 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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