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Some universities offer online courses as an alternative to classes delivered on campus. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? v.6

Some universities offer online courses as an alternative to classes delivered on campus. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? v. 6
These days, it‘s easily to recognized the strong development of internet and it leads to the inflation of many types of online service. Therefore, some universities begin opening up online courses and Student, instead of having to go to classes in real life, they just need to register and pay fee on the internet. In my opinion, it is a welcome step in the education sector, especially higher educational level. There are a number of reasons that make everyone feel skeptical about online courses. First of all, many people always think that students should go to university and interact directly with teachers. In constantly exchange information environment, they believe in that students can acquire knowledge more easily. Besides that, teachers can demonstrate their examples more lively and obviously. Secondly, people believe that academic environment of universities could train for younger generation how discipline is. That is what most of the parents always desired. However, in the modern life, it’s not unreasonable when correspondence courses become progressively popular. For example, many of the top universities in the world began teaching on internet early such as Massachusetts Institute of Technology or Harvard University… All students, when applying these courses, are likely to make the most out of their time. They can learn any free time without fear of closed classes. Not only are they so convenient but they also become a bridge between universities and distant students. These courses are usually cheaper, even some also have a longer duration than traditional courses. All students, who are prevented by geographical distance, will have opportunity to learn in the university that they dream. In conclusion, although online courses in university still have disadvantage aspects. I can affirm that this change is a positive direction of university education.
These days, it‘s
easily
Did you mean "to recognize"?
to recognized
the strong development of internet and it leads to the inflation of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
service.
Therefore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
opening up
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Student
,
instead
of having to go to classes in real life, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
need to register and pay fee on the internet. In my opinion, it is a welcome step in the education sector,
especially
higher educational level.

There are a number of reasons that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
everyone
The pronoun 'everyone' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "feels", "felt".
feel
skeptical about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
and interact
directly
with teachers. In
constantly
exchange information environment, they believe in that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can acquire knowledge more
easily
.
Besides
that, teachers can demonstrate their examples more lively and
obviously
.
Secondly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that academic environment of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
could train for younger generation how discipline is.
That is
what most of the parents always desired.

However
, in the modern life, it’s not unreasonable when correspondence
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
become
progressively
popular.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of the top
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
in the world began teaching on internet early such as Massachusetts Institute of Technology or Harvard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University…
All
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, when applying these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
, are likely to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the most out of their time. They can learn any free time without fear of closed classes. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
are they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
convenient
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they
also
become a bridge between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
and distant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
are
usually
cheaper, even
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
also
have a longer duration than traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
. All
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, who are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevented
by geographical distance, will have opportunity to learn in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
that they dream.

In conclusion
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
still
have disadvantage aspects. I can affirm that this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
direction of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
education.
16Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
26Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Some universities offer online courses as an alternative to classes delivered on campus. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? v. 6

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
293 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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