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The use of social media is replacing face-to-face interaction among many people in society. Do you think the advantages outweigh the advantages? You should write at least 250 words. v.1

The use of social media is replacing face-to-face interaction among many people in society. Do you think the advantages outweigh the advantages? v. 1
It is no doubt that these days using social media is becoming increasingly popular in recent times. However, the question: Can we replace face to face interaction with the use of social media among a lot of people in society? Is considered one of the most serious issues today. In this essay, we are going to discuss this phenomenon from both viewpoints and reasons. Also, we will explain my opinion that the disadvantages are superior. The first argument suggests that the benefits far outweigh the disadvantages. The main reason for believing this are easy and fast communication with each other. For example, we can talk with our friends in any time by using the Facebook and the Twitter. Moreover, it is also possible to say that social media changes the whole world to a small village. One good illustration of this is the we do not need to travel anywhere for making interviews for working. On the other hand, the second argument is considered totally an opposing case. It is commonly thought of the fact that people can depend on social media methods to contact with each other. People often have this idea because of the importance of real relationships and communication skills, such as relation of work teams and families, which are the basis of society. A second point is that it encourages the fake life. One particular example here is putting fake photos online to be famous. In conclusion, we saw that there are no easy answers to questions. In my opinion, I believe that the drawbacks are many more than the disadvantages as we should improve our communication skills by face-to-face interaction. In addition, we should put in our consideration that how social media is so important so we should make a balance between both sides. This essay discussed how we should limit using the social media to change our life for the better.
It is no doubt that these days using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
is becoming
increasingly
popular in recent times.
However
, the question: Can we replace face to face interaction with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
among
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in society?
Is considered
one of the most serious issues
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
. In this essay, we are going to discuss this phenomenon from both viewpoints and reasons.
Also
, we will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
my opinion that the disadvantages are superior.

The
first
argument suggests that the benefits far outweigh the disadvantages. The main reason for believing this are easy and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
communication with each other.
For example
, we can talk with our friends in any time by using the Facebook and the Twitter.
Moreover
, it is
also
possible to say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
the whole world to a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
village. One
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
illustration of this is
Possible typo. Did you mean "the" or "we"?
the we
do not need to travel anywhere for making interviews for working.

On the other hand
, the second argument
is considered
totally
an opposing case. It is
commonly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
of the fact that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can depend on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
methods to contact with each other.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
have this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the importance of real relationships and communication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, such as relation of work teams and families, which are the basis of society. A second point is that it encourages the fake life. One particular example here is putting fake photos online to be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
.

In conclusion
, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
that there are no easy answers to questions. In my opinion, I believe that the drawbacks are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more than the disadvantages as we should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
our communication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
by face-to-face interaction.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
In
addition, we should put in our consideration that how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
we should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a balance between both sides. This essay discussed how we should limit using the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
our life for the better.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
12Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay The use of social media is replacing face-to-face interaction among many people in society. Do you think the advantages outweigh the advantages? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
317 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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