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The use of smartphones is decreasing our collective intelligence because we are reliant on the technology not on our own minds. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

The use of smartphones is decreasing our collective intelligence because we are reliant on the technology not on our own minds. v. 1
Owing to advancement in technology, many people are dependent on gadgets. Many notions that, use of smartphones has produced a detrimental impact on our intellectual level, as we are dependent on them, instead of our minds. I partially agree to this statement. Although, smartphones have created ease in life of mankind, dependency on them has harmful effect on our intellect. It is the nature of humans to opt for things that creates comfort in life without considering perilous outcome, this is the case with this ubiquitous technology. As an illustration, youngsters nowadays defer to do manual simple calculation by brainstorming as they can simply get the answer by clicking a button via online calculator app present in phone. Hence it is common to opt for comfort rather than intellectual thinking as new generation is becoming dependent on hand held technologies. In contrast, to dangerous effects of dependency on smartphones, in reality, it boosts our memory. Consequently, producing positive impact on our mental health. For instance, a study done in Pakistan revealed that people who continuously set reminders on their phone enhances their memory as continuous repetition has profound impact on spatial awareness. This method was considered classical in ancient times to create productive thinking and long term memories. Therefore, healthy benefits of smartphone technology must be taken into consideration. To conclude, in my opinion, dependency on hand held technologies has positive as well as negative aspects to consider. Although it defers from reasonable thinking, it also enhances our memory process and strengthen it.
Owing to advancement in
technology
,
many
people
are dependent on gadgets.
Many
notions that,
use
of smartphones has produced a detrimental impact on our intellectual level, as we are dependent on them,
instead
of our minds. I
partially
agree
to this statement.

Although, smartphones have created
ease
in life of mankind, dependency on them has harmful effect on our intellect. It is the nature of humans to opt for things that creates comfort in life without considering perilous outcome, this is the case with this ubiquitous
technology
. As an illustration, youngsters nowadays defer to do manual simple calculation by brainstorming as they can
simply
get
the answer by clicking a button via online calculator app present in phone.
Hence
it is common to opt for comfort
rather
than intellectual thinking as new generation is becoming dependent on hand held technologies.

In contrast
, to
dangerous
effects of dependency on smartphones, in reality, it boosts our
memory
.
Consequently
, producing
positive
impact on our mental health.
For instance
, a study done in Pakistan revealed that
people
who
continuously
set reminders on their phone enhances their
memory
as continuous repetition has profound impact on spatial awareness. This method
was considered
classical in ancient times to create productive thinking and long term
memories
.
Therefore
, healthy benefits of smartphone
technology
must
be taken
into consideration.

To conclude
, in my opinion, dependency on hand held
technologies
has
positive
as well
as
negative
aspects to consider. Although it defers from reasonable thinking, it
also
enhances our
memory
process and strengthen it.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay The use of smartphones is decreasing our collective intelligence because we are reliant on the technology not on our own minds. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
253 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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