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“Many university students live with families while others live away from home because their universities are in different places. ” What are the advantages and disadvantages of both situations? v.1

“Many university students live with families while others live away from home because their universities are in different places. ” What are the advantages and disadvantages of both situations? v. 1
It is true that there are two main conditions of students attending at universities, some of them stay with their families while the others have to rent accommodations in another cities. There are benefits and drawbacks for both situations. There are reasons to believe that students living with their families have to face with some disadvantages, despite there are numerous advantages. One major value is that they save a great deal, since they do not have to pay for monthly accommodation. Furthermore, they get effective supports from their parents and siblings such as sharing ups and downs or having meals together. However, this situation also has disadvantages. Family routines sometimes have negative impact on their concentrate on studying. Without a quiet atmosphere required for assignments, it is hard for students to reach their targets at school. On the other hand, when students live independently for gaining their academic education, they also experience both challenges and chances. One obvious difficulty is that they have to find affordable accommodation in terms of price. Universities are usually located at large cities in which rents are exorbitant for ones with basic facilities. However, it is beneficial to live far away from home in some cases. Students have their own serene space to study, escape from families’ distractions. Besides, they also have a huge opportunity to strengthen the bond with others in the same situation. In conclusion, although there are differences in the circumstances of each university students, students either stay at home or live independently also experience both disadvantages and advantages.
It is true that there are two main conditions of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
attending at universities,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them stay with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
while the others
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
rent accommodations in another cities. There are benefits and drawbacks for both situations.

There are reasons to believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
living with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
face with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages, despite there are numerous advantages. One major value is that they save a great deal, since they do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
pay for monthly accommodation.
Furthermore
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
effective supports from their parents and siblings such as sharing ups and downs or having meals together.
However
, this situation
also
has disadvantages.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Family
routines
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on their concentrate on studying. Without a quiet atmosphere required for assignments, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to reach their targets at school.

On the other hand
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
independently
for gaining their academic education, they
also
experience both challenges and chances. One obvious difficulty is that they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
find affordable accommodation in terms of price. Universities are
usually
located at large cities in which rents are exorbitant for ones with basic facilities.
However
, it is beneficial to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
far away from home in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cases.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
serene space to study, escape from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families’
distractions.
Besides
, they
also
have a huge opportunity to strengthen the bond with others in the same situation.

In conclusion
, although there are differences in the circumstances of each university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
either stay at home or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
independently
also
experience both disadvantages and advantages.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
11Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
A foreign language is like a frail, delicate muscle. If you do not use it, it weakens.
Jhumpa Lahiri

IELTS essay “Many university students live with families while others live away from home because their universities are in different places. ” What are the advantages and disadvantages of both situations? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
257 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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