Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Formal education tends to restrain our minds and spirits rather than set them free. Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and s v.1

Formal education tends to restrain our minds and spirits rather than set them free. Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and s v. 1
Education both formal and informal enhances knowledge and confidence to face future challenges in professional and personal life. But some people believe that formal education limit the imagination and restrict the mind to think beyond the points. I believe that formal education is essential for everyone and it actually opens the door for countless opportunities exist in the world. People who believe that formal education confine thought process of an individual have some rational points. First of all, it is generally seen that teachers in school emphasis more on concentrating the syllabus and reluctant to teach more than defined in curriculum. As a result, students who follow the teachers religiously can’t imagine that knowledge exists beyond the textbook. Secondly, the assessment in formal education is based on the annual or biannual exam and it is important for every student to get higher marks to prove their level of knowledge. Consequently, students are advised to study for aiming excellent marks and not to actually get in deep of the subjects. For example, my daughter who studies in class 10th was told to study only the points taught in class as those are likely to be in the exam paper. However, formal education’s importance can’t be degraded based on the above points and most of the parents think that schooling is considered beneficial for all-round development. School courses are designed by academics, keeping in mind of child’s age, level of understanding and systematic growth. This results in, when students complete the education, they become well rounded knowledgeable citizen who are able to apply the knowledge in various areas of life. For instance, former India President who was not admitted in school in initial days but later on got the opportunity to study in university and became the scientist and he especially attributed his success to education gained in college and university. To conclude, formal education always helps students to remain focused and not to deviate owing to limitless things to learn in universe. It sets the path for systematic development which turns students to become what they aspire for.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Education
both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
formal
and informal enhances
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
and confidence to face future challenges in professional and personal life.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
formal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
limit the imagination and restrict the mind to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
beyond the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
points
. I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
formal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is essential for everyone and it actually opens the door for countless opportunities exist in the world.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
formal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
confine
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
process of an individual have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
rational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
points
.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, it is
generally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that teachers in school emphasis more on concentrating the syllabus and reluctant to teach more than defined in curriculum.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
follow the teachers
religiously
can’t imagine that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
exists beyond the textbook.
Secondly
, the assessment in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
formal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is based
on the annual or biannual exam and it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
higher marks to prove their level of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
.
Consequently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are advised
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
for aiming excellent marks and not to actually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
in deep of the subjects.
For example
, my daughter
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
10th was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
points
taught in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
as those are likely to be in the exam paper.

However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
formal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education’s
importance can’t
be degraded
based on the above
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
points
and most of the parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that schooling
is considered
beneficial for all-round development. School courses
are designed
by academics, keeping in mind of child’s age, level of understanding and systematic growth. This results in, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
complete the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
, they become
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well rounded
knowledgeable citizen
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are able to apply the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
in various areas of life.
For instance
, former India President
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
was not admitted in school in initial days
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
later on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
the opportunity to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
in university and became the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
scientist and
he
especially
attributed his success to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
gained in college and university.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
formal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to remain focused and not to deviate owing to limitless things to learn in universe. It sets the path for systematic development which turns
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to become what they aspire for.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
39Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
You can never understand one language until you understand at least two.
Geoffrey Willans

IELTS essay Formal education tends to restrain our minds and spirits rather than set them free. Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and s v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
347 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts