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The use of personal cars has increased more than ever before but this use of cars causes many problems. What are those problems? In order to reduce these problems, should we discourage people to use cars? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge. v.2

The use of personal cars has increased more than ever before but this use of cars causes many problems. What are those problems? In order to reduce these problems, should we discourage people to use cars? v. 2
It has been observed in the past few years that more and more people are opting to travel in their own car which has given rise to many unexpected issues. This essay will outline those problems and discuss possible ways to deter the public from using it very often. Firstly, we will walk through its impacts on the environment and secondly, on our productivity. Lastly, we will look at some measures that the government and common citizens can take to alleviate it. Many researchers agree on the fact that vehicles are the major contributors of an air and sound pollution. Car runs on fossil fuel which upon burning emits carbon dioxide. This toxic gas aggravates the greenhouse impacts such as, rise in the temperature, melting glaciers, acid rain, imbalance in the ecosystem and also many health complications. In other words, car exhausts adds greatly to the adverse effects of the global warming. In addition to that, vast number of four-wheelers on the road forms heinous traffic congestion everyday. Many metropolitans complain about spending a good amount of their day during commute, which they could have rather utilized in some productive activities. That is to say, one has to sacrifice their precious time if chose the comfort of car transportation. Many experts suggest putting a staggering high tax on the ownership of automobiles will help with these issues, However, I beg to differ. Car is rather a necessity that a luxury in metro cities. Hence huge taxation is of no use. More efficient way to curb the situation could be, encouraging people to use their car more smartly. For instance, avoid using it unless more then two persons travelling or offer a car-pool. Another remedy is, The government and giant automobile hubs can invest more in producing efficient and eco-friendly cars. In conclusion, This essay acknowledges that the problems affecting the environment and people's lives are growing equivalent to the car users, but can be mitigated by a few smart decisions by ordinary citizens and authorities.
It has
been observed
in the past few years that more and more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are opting to travel in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
which has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
rise to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
unexpected issues. This essay will outline those problems and discuss possible ways to deter the public from using it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
.
Firstly
, we will walk through its impacts on the environment and
secondly
, on our productivity.
Lastly
, we will look at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
measures that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and common citizens can take to alleviate it.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
researchers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
on the fact that vehicles are the major contributors of an air and sound pollution.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Car
runs on fossil fuel which upon burning emits carbon dioxide. This toxic gas aggravates the greenhouse impacts such as, rise in the temperature, melting glaciers, acid rain, imbalance in the ecosystem and
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
health complications.
In other words
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
exhausts
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
adds
greatly
to the adverse effects of the global warming.

In addition
to that, vast number of
Possible spelling mistake found.
four-wheelers
on the road forms heinous traffic congestion
'Everyday' is an adjective. Did you mean "every day"?
everyday
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
metropolitans complain about spending a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
amount of their day during commute, which they could have
rather
utilized in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
productive activities.
That is
to say, one
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
sacrifice their precious time if chose the comfort of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
transportation.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
experts suggest putting a staggering high tax on the ownership of automobiles will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
with these issues,
However
, I beg to differ.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Car
is
rather
a necessity that a luxury in metro cities.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Hence
huge taxation is of no
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
. More efficient way to curb the situation could be, encouraging
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
more
smartly
.
For instance
, avoid using it unless more
Comparison requires "than", not 'then' nor 'as'.
then
two persons travelling or offer a car-pool. Another remedy is, The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and giant automobile hubs can invest more in producing efficient and eco-friendly cars.

In conclusion
, This essay acknowledges that the problems affecting the environment and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
are growing equivalent to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
users,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
can
be mitigated
by a few smart decisions by ordinary citizens and authorities.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay The use of personal cars has increased more than ever before but this use of cars causes many problems. What are those problems? In order to reduce these problems, should we discourage people to use cars? v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
335 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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