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The use of mobile phones has increased rapidly in the twenty-first century. Additionally, cell phones can now be used for many purposes besides making phone calls. What are the advantages and disadvantages of cell phones? v.1

The use of mobile phones has increased rapidly in the twenty-first century. Additionally, cell phones can now be used for many purposes besides making phone calls. What are the advantages and disadvantages of cell phones? v. 1
In today's world cell phones offer various opportunities rather than merely phone calls, therefore the number of users has significantly increased. This essay will discuss the positives and negatives of possessing a mobile phone. Firstly, mobiles can be beneficial to keep in touch with people living away from us. Formerly, the major forms of communication were letters and telegrams which required a great deal of time to be delivered and many individuals found it difficult to receive news from secluded relatives. On several occasions, the delivery never reached the required destination due to lack of transport. Today, cellular phones support video chats that help us to not solely hear our relative voices but also see their faces. Secondly, mobile phones are fruitful for study purposes, as just a click can provide the required information. Furthermore, students prefer seeking solutions from YouTube lessons owing to the fact that the brain stores information from images and videos faster than paperbacks. According to the latest study in America, 55% of citizens would rather choose to read an e-book on their cell phone instead of using a classical book. On the other hand, using smart phones in a wrong manner may be detrimental for society and especially children who are becoming addicted to social media, leaving homework in second plan. In addition, labourers could also lose the job because of distractions that come from mobile phones. Privacy loss is undeniable when owning a mobile phone for we can always be contacted. For instance, receiving numerous missed calls from unknown contacts made me change my phone number several times. In conclusion, smartphones are essential for human interactions and also effective for study purposes. However, dedicating too much time on them can affect people's lifestyle.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's world cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
offer various opportunities
rather
than
merely
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
calls,
therefore
the number of users has
significantly
increased. This essay will discuss the positives and negatives of possessing a mobile phone.

Firstly
, mobiles can be beneficial to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
in touch with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
living away from us.
Formerly
, the major forms of communication were letters and telegrams which required a great deal of time to
be delivered
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
individuals found it difficult to receive news from secluded relatives. On several occasions, the delivery never reached the required destination due to lack of transport.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
, cellular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
support video chats that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us to not
solely
hear our relative voices
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
their faces.
Secondly
, mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
are fruitful for study purposes, as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a click can provide the required information.
Furthermore
, students prefer seeking solutions from YouTube lessons owing to the fact that the brain stores information from images and videos faster than paperbacks. According to the latest study in America, 55% of citizens would
rather
choose to read an e-book on their cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
instead
of using a classical book.

On the other hand
, using smart
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
manner may be detrimental for society and
especially
children who are becoming addicted to social media, leaving homework in second plan.
In addition
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
labourers
could
also
lose the job
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of distractions that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
from mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
. Privacy loss is undeniable when owning a mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
for we can always
be contacted
.
For instance
, receiving numerous missed calls from unknown contacts made me
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
number several times.

In conclusion
, smartphones are essential for human interactions and
also
effective for study purposes.
However
, dedicating too much time on them can affect
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's lifestyle.
17Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay The use of mobile phones has increased rapidly in the twenty-first century. Additionally, cell phones can now be used for many purposes besides making phone calls. What are the advantages and disadvantages of cell phones? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
289 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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