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Online education and training is becoming increasing popular in the business world. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? v.1

Online education and training is becoming increasing popular in the business world. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? v. 1
Technology has made it possible to send any information reach far and wide. As a result, now it is being possible to take online education and a new trend is getting popular due to its benefits. There are many advantages to take an online schedule of training which outweigh disadvantages. To begin with multinational organization has built standards and accreditation required for their processes. But due to busy schedules professional were not possible to attend the classroom lectures which have produced the idea to continue in the profession and still you can learn by your schedule. This achieves great flexibility in the learner’s life. Ease of learning helps to get the qualified staff to the companies. Moreover working peoples preferring it as commuting avoided as well as the overall cost is too low. For instance, one can attend the live seminar as per their holiday schedule though from home, it helps to get more comfortable learning environment. The disadvantage of this come into the picture. For instance, if someone is attending an online session, he has to communicate using a chat box rather than face to face. Furthermore it is essential requirement to not only have self-discipline, but also self-direction for the good outcome which is depends on a person. Also individaul should do it by without missing the single class and he is sure about the course will help him to acquire the required skills. To conclude, keeping update to the self is crucial in today’s competitive world. Though e learning or online learning is profitable to the organization, traditional learning is having its own benefits. This is a challenge for businesses to find right balance between them.
Technology has made it possible to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
any information reach far and wide.
As a result
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
it is being possible to take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
education and a new trend is getting popular due to its benefits. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages to take an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schedule
of training which outweigh disadvantages.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with multinational organization has built standards and accreditation required for their processes.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
due to busy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schedules
professional were not possible to attend the classroom lectures which have produced the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
to continue in the profession and
still
you can learn by your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schedule
. This achieves great flexibility in the learner’s life.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Ease
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the qualified staff to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Moreover
working peoples preferring it as commuting avoided
as well
as the
overall
cost is too low.
For instance
, one can attend the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
seminar as per their holiday
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schedule
though from home, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more comfortable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
environment.

The disadvantage of this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
into the picture.
For instance
, if someone is attending an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
session, he
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
communicate using a chat box
rather
than face to face.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Furthermore
it
Please check whether an article is missing: "is a essential" or "is an essential"
is essential
requirement to not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
have self-discipline,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
self-direction for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
outcome which is depends on a person.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
Possible spelling mistake found.
individaul
should do it by without missing the single
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
class and
he is sure about the course will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
him to acquire the required
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.

To conclude
, keeping update to the self is crucial in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s competitive world. Though e
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
is profitable to the organization, traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
is having its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
benefits. This is a challenge for businesses to find right balance between them.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
He who knows no foreign languages knows nothing of his own.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

IELTS essay Online education and training is becoming increasing popular in the business world. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
279 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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