Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

The Use of MediaThere are many techniques that the media use to send messages to the audience. For example, some advertisement companies portray the positive traits of their products so they appear to be the best. However, some advertisement companies iso v.1

The Use of MediaThere are many techniques that the media use to send messages to the audience. For example, some advertisement companies portray the positive traits of their products so they appear to be the best. However, some advertisement companies iso v. 1
It is argued that when students go to school instituted, they have to comply with regulation wearing uniform. I completely agree this idea, and this essay I will explain some arguments to this statement. Firstly, rich students can afford to buy expensive and beautiful clothes, but poor students cannot do; therefore, uniforms establish perfect equality between students. Obviously, this is the biggest benefit of putting on uniform to school; besides, the senior teachers do not worry about students wearing unsuitable clothes to learn. To illustrate, if both wealthy and poor students wear the same clothes to school, they will feel more comfortable and confident. Secondly, when students wear this kind of clothing, it gives students a sense of belonging to a particular school. In addition, it creates an identity in the community. For example, each uniform shows especial characteristic of each school through different points. Furthermore, uniform affects student’s behaviour because if they do incorrect anything, they will be suffered punishment by their education authorities. Finally, several schools have design uniform very fashionable; thus, it attracts a great deal of students. It means that uniform sometime is a reason to choose school where students want to study. For instance, a lot of female students have to effort hardly to pass the entrance exam to be one of the students of Ly Thuong Kiet high school because they want to wear this place’s uniform, and it is an innovative "ao dai". In conclusion, uniform is a necessary because it creates a positive environment in school. Additionally, it brings some advantages, such as relationship equality between rich and poor students, identifying particular other schools and wearing uniform are not boring.
It
is argued
that when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
instituted, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
comply with regulation wearing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniform
. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
, and this essay I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
arguments to this statement.

Firstly
, rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can afford to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
expensive and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
clothes,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
cannot do;
therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniforms
establish perfect equality between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
Obviously
, this is the biggest benefit of putting on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniform
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
;
besides
, the senior teachers do not worry about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
wearing unsuitable clothes to learn. To illustrate, if both wealthy and poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
wear the same clothes to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, they will feel more comfortable and confident.

Secondly
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
wear this kind of clothing, it gives
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
a sense of belonging to a particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
In addition
, it creates an identity in the community.
For example
, each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniform
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
especial characteristic of each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
through
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
points.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniform
affects
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student’s
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
if they do incorrect anything, they will
be suffered
punishment by their education authorities.

Finally
, several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
have design
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniform
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
fashionable;
thus
, it attracts a great deal of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. It means that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniform
sometime is a reason to choose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
want to study.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
female
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
effort hardly to pass the entrance exam to be one of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ly
Possible spelling mistake found.
Thuong
Possible spelling mistake found.
Kiet
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they want to wear this place’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniform
, and it is an innovative
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
Possible spelling mistake found.
ao
Possible spelling mistake found.
dai
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniform
is a necessary
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it creates a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
environment in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
Additionally
, it brings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advantages, such as relationship equality between rich and poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, identifying particular other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
and wearing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniform
are not boring.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay The Use of MediaThere are many techniques that the media use to send messages to the audience. For example, some advertisement companies portray the positive traits of their products so they appear to be the best. However, some advertisement companies iso v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
278 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts