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The use of corporal punishment (physically hitting students) in schools is in decline, yet it should be used to improve behaviour. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer, and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words. v.2

The use of corporal punishment (physically hitting students) in schools is in decline, yet it should be used to improve behaviour. with this statement? v. 2
As our society is progressing, the old thought of punishing students physically is fading away. However, a few believe that these punishments should still be exercised to ensure that students learn manners. I disagree with the given statement and I will discuss in this essay that why students should not be beaten up by teachers. Although some students disrespect their teachers greatly and lack basic manners. Sometimes out of frustration, some teachers exercise the right of corporal punishment. It does more damage than a remedy. The teacher should influence the students with his good attributes so that he is respected. Firstly, physical beating should be discouraged because it reduces the level of motivation of a student towards the studies. He will develop a constant fear of his teacher and will be unable to communicate the hardships he faces at school. This fear and lack of communication will give rise to stress, which in turn will lead towards low performance. As a result, he may take a step towards self harming. For instance, in our country, many students commit suicide just because they are abused at school. Secondly, the students who experience being hit are mostly made fun of. They are laughed upon their peers which in turn makes them feel degraded. As a consequence, a student developed a strong feeling of hatred towards their teachers and may plan up to take a revenge. A case was reported in our country in which a group of students beat up a teacher just because they were physically hit at school with him. Events like these also lowers the self esteem of teachers. In conclusion, I strongly disagree that physical treatment should not be opted by teachers as an option for well being of students rather they should influence them with their qualities. As I truly believe that this option will only prove to build a gap in learning.
As our society is progressing, the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
of punishing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
physically
is fading away.
However
, a few believe that these punishments should
still
be exercised
to ensure that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
learn manners. I disagree with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
statement and I will discuss in this essay that why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should not
be beaten
up by teachers.

Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
disrespect their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
greatly
and lack basic manners.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
out of frustration,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
exercise the right of corporal punishment. It does more damage than a remedy. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
should influence the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
with his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
attributes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that he
is respected
.
Firstly
, physical beating should
be discouraged
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
the level of motivation of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
towards the studies. He will develop a constant fear of his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
and will be unable to communicate the hardships he faces at school. This fear and lack of communication will give rise to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
, which in turn will lead towards low performance.
As a result
, he may take a step towards self harming.
For instance
, in our country,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
commit suicide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
are abused
at school.

Secondly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who experience
being hit
are
mostly
made fun of. They
are laughed
upon their peers which in turn
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them feel degraded. As a consequence, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
developed a strong feeling of hatred towards their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
and may plan up to take a revenge. A case
was reported
in our country in which a group of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "beats"? (Some collective nouns can be treated as both singular and plural, so 'beat' is not always incorrect.)
beat
up a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they were
physically
hit at school with him.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Events
like these
also
lowers the
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
self esteem
of teachers.

In conclusion
, I
strongly
disagree that physical treatment should not
be opted
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
as an option for
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well being
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
rather
they should influence them with their qualities.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
I
truly
believe that this option will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
prove to build a gap in learning.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes
It is astonishing how much enjoyment one can get out of a language that one understands imperfectly.
Basil Lanneau Gildersleeve

IELTS essay The use of corporal punishment (physically hitting students) in schools is in decline, yet it should be used to improve behaviour. with this statement? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
316 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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