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Nowadays people make new friends through social networks and internet chat groups. Some people think this is good. Others think that face-to-face interaction is essential. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.13

Nowadays people make new friends through social networks and internet chat groups. Some people think this is good. Others think that face-to-face interaction is essential. v. 13
There is a widely held perception among many people that making new friends via social networks and internet chat groups is good. Others opine that face-to-face conversations are important. While there are certainly valid arguments to the contrary, I am strongly inclined to the view that that face-to-face interactions are indeed essential and better. On the one hand, befriending people through social networks or chat groups helps a person to get acquainted with the culture and norms of a foreign country. For instance, by using social networking platforms like Twitter or Facebook, many people have learned about different country's culture by talking to people of other countries. Moreover, chatting groups are becoming famous on the internet and with the help of this, people find a way to connect with each other through similar interests. In this way, a person's knowledge can be increased as they are being exposed to different point of views. On the other hand, for a sociable population, it is salient that people engage in face-to-face conversations on a daily basis. In addition, using social media requires the use of a laptop or a smartphone, which can make a person follow a sedentary lifestyle and can also worsen eye health. Furthermore, one point which I believe to be absolutely pivotal is the safety concerns when using the internet to make new friends. Countless cases have been reported where people on social media lie about their identity and cheat naive people by deceiving them to meet them in real life. According to a report of the CBN, numerous ingenuous young girls have gone missing in the past 2 years because of meeting fake people on the internet. By way of conclusion, I reaffirm my position that face-to-face interaction is fundamental. Even though making friends through social networks and internet chat groups has some perks, communicating face-to-face is safer and hence, better.
There is a
widely
held perception among
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that making new friends via
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networks and internet chat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
. Others opine that face-to-face conversations are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
. While there are
certainly
valid arguments to the contrary, I am
strongly
inclined to the view that that face-to-face interactions are
indeed
essential and better.

On the one hand, befriending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networks or chat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
a person to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
acquainted with the culture and norms of a foreign country.
For instance
, by using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking platforms like Twitter or Facebook,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have learned about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
country's culture by talking to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
countries.
Moreover
, chatting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
are becoming
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
on the internet and with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
find a way to connect with each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
through similar interests. In this way, a person's knowledge can
be increased
as they are
being exposed
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
point of views.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, for a sociable population, it is salient that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
engage in face-to-face conversations on a daily basis.
In addition
, using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
media requires the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of a laptop or a smartphone, which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a person follow a sedentary lifestyle and can
also
worsen eye health.
Furthermore
, one point which I believe to be
absolutely
pivotal is the safety concerns when using the internet to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
new friends. Countless cases have
been reported
where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
media lie about their identity and cheat naive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
by deceiving them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
them in real life. According to a report of the CBN, numerous ingenuous young girls have gone missing in the past 2 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of meeting fake
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
on the internet.

By way of conclusion, I reaffirm my position that face-to-face interaction is fundamental.
Even though
making friends through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networks and internet chat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
perks, communicating face-to-face is safer and
hence
, better.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes
Speak a new language so that the world will be a new world.
Rumi

IELTS essay Nowadays people make new friends through social networks and internet chat groups. Some people think this is good. Others think that face-to-face interaction is essential. v. 13

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
313 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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