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The use of corporal punishment (physically hitting students) in schools is in decline, yet it should be used to improve behaviour. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? v.1

The use of corporal punishment (physically hitting students) in schools is in decline, yet it should be used to improve behaviour. with this statement? v. 1
The introduction of a substance into the land or the sea which has harmful or poisonous effects is called pollution. It is true that plastic shopping bags are contributing a lot in making our environment more polluted. Therefore, I strongly agreed that plastic shopping bags should be banned. (47) We had seen in the past that people always carried a cloth bag whenever they moved to markets for purchasing. Plastic bags were not used at all in many parts of the world. Thus, our planet was much cleaner before the introduction of plastic shopping bags. (46) Presently, plastic shopping bags are commonly used in almost the countries. The excessive use of plastic bags in shopping is not only polluting our land but also the sea. This is because of several reasons. For example, plastic shopping bags are always thrown outside once they are used. They are made from a material which is absorbed neither in earth surface nor in the water. So they keep on polluting our environment for long times. In addition, the large number of waste plastic bags has not only distorted the natural beauty of our seas, but also has proved a source of poison for sea animals. (103) In developed countries, governments have taken many impressive initiatives to overcome this problem. Thus, if the countries keep on limiting the use of plastic bags for shopping, then our land and sea will certainly become a safe place for living in the near future. (44) Therefore, I totally agreed that the plastic shopping bags have to be banned, but an alternative to plastic bags should be introduced so that people do not suffer in carrying their goods. (32)
The introduction of a substance into the land or the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sea
which has harmful or poisonous effects
is called
pollution. It is true that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plastic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bags
are contributing a lot in making our environment more polluted.
Therefore
, I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agreed
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plastic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bags
should
be banned
. (47)

We had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in the past that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
always carried a cloth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bag
whenever they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moved
to markets for purchasing.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Plastic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bags
were not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
at all in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
parts of the world.
Thus
, our planet was much cleaner
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
the introduction of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plastic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bags
. (46)

Presently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plastic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bags
are
commonly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in almost the countries. The excessive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plastic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bags
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
polluting our land
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sea
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of several reasons.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plastic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bags
are always thrown outside once they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
. They
are made
from a material which
is absorbed
neither in earth surface nor in the water.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
on polluting our environment for long times.
In addition
, the large number of waste
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plastic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bags
has not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
distorted the natural beauty of our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
seas
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
has proved a source of poison for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sea
animals. (103)

In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developed countries
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
have taken
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
impressive initiatives to overcome this problem.
Thus
, if the countries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
on limiting the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plastic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bags
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
, then our land and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sea
will
certainly
become a safe place for living in the near future. (44)

Therefore
, I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agreed
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plastic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bags
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be banned
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
an alternative to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plastic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bags
should
be introduced
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
do not suffer in carrying their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
. (32)
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Change your language and you change your thoughts.
Karl Albrecht

IELTS essay The use of corporal punishment (physically hitting students) in schools is in decline, yet it should be used to improve behaviour. with this statement? v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
279 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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