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Everyone should become vegetarian because they do not need to eat meat to have a healthy diet. Do you agree or disagree? v.3

Everyone should become vegetarian because they do not need to eat meat to have a healthy diet. v. 3
It never fails to provoke controversy when it comes to the choice of becoming vegetarian or not. While I agree that a vegetarian diet is good for health, I would argue that meat still plays an indispensable role in people's meals. On the one hand, there are plenty of explanations why becoming a vegetarian is beneficial. First of all, a vegetarian diet brings human several necessary nutrition for a healthy body. In other words, plant foods such as vegetables, fruits and nuts provide almost every essential fat and minerals. It is a huge source of vitamins including A, K, E and calcium. Therefore, there will be no need to eat meat. In addition, becoming vegetarian is a great way to diminish the risk of developing several chronic diseases including heart diseases, diabetes and cancer. Take a clear example, some people with cardiovascular diseases or obesity have to choose eating vegetables on the ground that these plant foods are high in fiber and low in fat. On the other hand, there are some drawbacks when people stop eating meat for a long time. To begin with, vegetarian daily meals are likely to bring human the imbalance. On the ground that vegetarian meals contain little amount of calories. As a result, people may not have enough energy for activities of day. Therefore, people will always feel lethargic as well as completely tired. Another vital reasons is that a vegetarian meal is relatively hard to prepare correctly. It always need some accurate methods to keep the minerals. Last but not least important, meat is the most convenient source of protein, amino-acid and iron that plant foods do not have. In fact, meat has the most crucial vitamins like B12, which is utterly essential for the development of human, especially for the youngsters. In conclusion, although a vegetarian meal is recommended for everybody, people should take it into consideration due to some of its downsides.
It never fails to provoke controversy when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to the choice of becoming vegetarian or not. While I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that a vegetarian diet is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for health, I would argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meat
still
plays an indispensable role in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's meals.

On the one hand, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of explanations why becoming a vegetarian is beneficial.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, a vegetarian diet brings human several necessary nutrition for a healthy body.
In other words
, plant foods such as vegetables, fruits and nuts provide almost every essential
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
and minerals. It is a huge source of vitamins including A, K, E and calcium.
Therefore
, there will be no need to eat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meat
.
In addition
, becoming vegetarian is a great way to diminish the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of developing several chronic diseases including heart diseases, diabetes and cancer. Take a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
example,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with cardiovascular diseases or obesity
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
choose eating vegetables on the ground that these plant foods are high in fiber and low in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
.

On the other hand
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
eating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meat
for a long time. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, vegetarian daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meals
are likely to bring human the imbalance. On the ground that vegetarian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meals
contain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
amount of calories.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
energy for activities of day.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will always feel lethargic
as well
as completely tired. Another vital reasons is that a vegetarian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meal
is
relatively
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to prepare
correctly
. It always
Did you mean "needs"?
need
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
accurate methods to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
the minerals. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meat
is the most convenient source of protein, amino-acid and iron that plant foods do not have. In fact,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meat
has the most crucial vitamins like B12, which is
utterly
essential for the development of human,
especially
for the youngsters.

In conclusion
, although a vegetarian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meal
is recommended
for everybody,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should take it into consideration due to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of its downsides.
17Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
One language sets you in a corridor for life. Two languages open every door along the way.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Everyone should become vegetarian because they do not need to eat meat to have a healthy diet. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
321 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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