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Some universities offer online courses as an alternative to classes delivered on campus. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? v.5

Some universities offer online courses as an alternative to classes delivered on campus. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? v. 5
Most people share contrasting opinions on the most appropriate way the government ought to allocate its funds. Some believe spending on art is a complete waste and this fund should rather be spent on other sectors. In my opinion, finding other areas of governance is just as essential as spending on art for a number of reasons. Admittedly, allocating money to improve services in the health and educational sectors would appear as the major achievement of any government. In other words, many would applaud the state for building schools and ensuring that well seasoned tutors are employed to train the students. This they believe is important in raising a literate society which is often believed to be the bedrock of any successful nation. Similarly, when the authority provides quality health services for its citizens, most people usually regard such as being responsible. This is perhaps because they believe that everyone is entitled to up-to -date healthcare provision and possibly due to the fact that revenue from taxation are utilized to achieve this. Despite having many areas of essential services whereby the state ought to channel its spendings on, I think funding arts should not be left out. Firstly, it appears logical to agree that many citizens can relate with this sector because it provides a platform for socialization. For instance, theatre arts and culture dances always attract many people of diverse ethnicity due to the beauty of cultural diversity it brings. Likewise, this area of life gives opportunity for people relax and enjoy time together either as family or friends. Lastly, art section of the economy can serve as a source of revenue generation, as people could be required to pay a token to watch movies at the theatre or cinemas. In conclusion, it seems reasonable to agree that spending on culture and art is not a waste, but should be regarded as an essential duty of any government because it is equally as important as other sectors of governance like health and education.
Most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
share contrasting opinions on the most appropriate way the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
ought to allocate its funds.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
is a complete waste and this fund should
rather
be spent
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sectors
. In my opinion, finding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
areas of governance is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
as essential as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
for a number of reasons.

Admittedly
, allocating money to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
services in the health and educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sectors
would appear as the major achievement of any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
would applaud the state for building schools and ensuring that well seasoned tutors
are employed
to train the students. This they believe is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in raising a literate society which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
believed to be the bedrock of any successful nation.
Similarly
, when the authority provides quality health services for its citizens, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
usually
regard such as being responsible. This is perhaps
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they believe that everyone
is entitled
to up-to -date healthcare provision and
possibly
due to the fact that revenue from taxation
are utilized
to achieve this.

Despite having
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
areas of essential services whereby the state ought to channel its
Possible spelling mistake found.
spendings on
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
funding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
should not be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
out.
Firstly
, it appears logical to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
citizens can relate with this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it provides a platform for socialization.
For instance
,
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
and culture dances always attract
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of diverse ethnicity due to the beauty of cultural diversity it brings.
Likewise
, this area of life gives opportunity for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
relax and enjoy time together either as family or friends.
Lastly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
section of the economy can serve as a source of revenue generation, as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could
be required
to pay a token to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
movies at the
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
or cinemas.

In conclusion
, it seems reasonable to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
on culture and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
is not a waste,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
should
be regarded
as an essential duty of any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is
Use either "equally" or "as" on its own. When comparing two nouns, use "just as".
equally as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sectors
of governance like health and education.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
I am always sorry when any language is lost, because languages are the pedigrees of nations.
Samuel Johnson

IELTS essay Some universities offer online courses as an alternative to classes delivered on campus. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
334 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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