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Government should spend more money on railways than roads. To what extend do you agree or disagree. v.5

Government should spend more money on railways than roads. v. 5
It is argued that, a country should use more funds on constructing or renovating railway lines than roads. This essay agree that, it is beneficial to have more railways than roads, especially with increased road carnage happening due to reckless driving. The benefits of using train as a mode of transport will be highlighted, as well as for road system. Secondly, relevant example will be given and a conclusion will be included, as disadvantages of using road transport system discussed. People are dying almost everyday, which is saddening due to road carnage. Governments should invest more money in construction or refurbishment of railway lines. Few accidents occur with train, though they are very fatal if they do happen. There are a lot of people who are drinking and driving, thereby causing accidents and death of innocent souls. Trains are efficient and they are monitored, if they happen it is usually caused by a car or bus which failed to give way to the train as it try to beat it up before crossing the railway line. For instance, there was an accident which happened in Harare and claim life of 30 people. It happened because the driver could not give way to the train. On the other hand, road transport can be very efficient and fast, if one is driving carefully. Privacy is maintained especially when travelling as a family, which the train does not offer. Some trains are very slow, mentioning the outdated ones which are commonly found in under-developing and developing countries. A country should divide more money for construction and maintenance of roads, for fast and convenient way if travel. In conclusion, nothing is compared to loss of human life, therefore the benefits of using railway transport outweigh the use of road system. There are some train which are faster and convenient, such as, gautrain or bullet train. More funds should be allocated for railways, as well as purchasing modern trains which are trending.
It
is argued
that, a country should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
more funds on constructing or renovating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railway
lines than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
. This essay
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that, it is beneficial to have more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railways
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
,
especially
with increased
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
carnage happening due to reckless driving. The benefits of using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
train
as a mode of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
will
be highlighted
,
as well
as for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
system.
Secondly
, relevant example will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
and a conclusion will
be included
, as disadvantages of using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
system discussed.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
are dying almost
'Everyday' is an adjective. Did you mean "every day"?
everyday
, which is saddening due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
carnage.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Governments
should invest more money in construction or refurbishment of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railway
lines. Few accidents occur with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
train
, though they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
fatal if they do happen. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who are drinking and driving, thereby causing accidents and death of innocent souls.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Trains
are
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
efficient and
they
are monitored
, if they happen it is
usually
caused by a car or bus which failed to give way to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
train
as it try to beat it up
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
crossing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railway
line.
For instance
, there was an accident which happened in Harare and claim life of 30
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. It happened
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the driver could not give way to the train.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
efficient and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
, if one is driving
carefully
. Privacy
is maintained
especially
when travelling as a family, which the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
train
does not offer.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trains
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
slow, mentioning the outdated ones which are
commonly
found in under-developing and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing countries
. A country should divide more money for construction and maintenance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
, for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
and convenient way if
The conjunction "if" requires the past participle "traveled", "travelled", or did you mean "you travel"?
travel
.

In conclusion
, nothing
is compared
to loss of human life,
therefore
the benefits of using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railway
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
outweigh the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
system. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "trains"?
train
which are faster and convenient, such as,
Possible spelling mistake found.
gautrain
or bullet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
train
. More funds should
be allocated
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railways
,
as well
as purchasing modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trains
which are trending.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
28Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes
Language is wine upon the lips. – Virginia WoolfInspirational quotes for language learners
Virginia Woolf

IELTS essay Government should spend more money on railways than roads. v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
327 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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