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The best way of motivating workers is to offer them performance-based pay packets. Do you agree or disagree? v.1

The best way of motivating workers is to offer them performance-based pay packets. v. 1
Performance-based incentives and pay packets motivate employees to work harder. Many companies already employ this technique and have reaped huge benefits. Although this is a fair method of rewarding talent, it does have some negative aspects as well. Performance-based payment systems tend to work best in the sales and marketing sector because quantifying the performance of a salesman is easy. You just need to look at the volume of sales that he or she achieves. However, assessing the performance of a back office employee is not that easy. Although their service is equally important, their contribution to the organization cannot be measured that easily. The best thing about performance-based pay is that it promotes healthy competition among the workers. When employees realize that they can earn much more than they typically do by achieving more sales, they will definitely work harder. If the incentives only reach a certain number of employees, it will spur everyone to work harder. On the flip side, incentives may also breed resentment. In every organization, there are both achievers and under-performers. Interestingly, they all put in the same amount of work and time. However, the incentives will only reach the hands of those achievers. This could cause resentment among other employees and make them feel that their contribution is not appreciated. While thoughtfully designed incentive schemes may encourage employees to stick to an organization, it may also prompt under-performers to quit. While companies are unlikely to feel the need to retain under-performers a high attrition rate does not reflect well on the company or its management. What’s more, organizations spend a great deal of time and money on training fresh employees. If a large number of these employees leave within a few months of joining, it is a sheer wastage of money and manpower. In conclusion, performance-based incentives encourage hard work and healthy competition among employees. However, the same system may also cause resentment and hamper team efforts. Also in sectors where performance cannot be measured in terms of figures, this method simply wouldn’t work.
Performance-based
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
incentives
and pay packets motivate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
harder.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
already employ this technique and have reaped huge benefits. Although this is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
method of rewarding talent, it does have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
aspects
as well
.

Performance-based payment systems tend to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
best in the sales and marketing sector
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
quantifying the performance of a salesman is easy. You
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
need to look at the volume of sales that he or she achieves.
However
, assessing the performance of a back office
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
is not that easy. Although their service is
equally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
, their contribution to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organization
cannot
be measured
that
easily
.

The best thing about performance-based pay is that it promotes healthy competition among the workers. When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
realize that they can earn much more than they
typically
do by achieving more sales, they will definitely
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
harder. If the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
incentives
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
reach a certain number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
, it will spur everyone to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
harder.

On the flip side,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
incentives
may
also
breed resentment. In every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organization
, there are both achievers and under-performers.
Interestingly
, they all put in the same amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and time.
However
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
incentives
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
reach the hands of those achievers. This could cause resentment among other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them feel that their contribution is not appreciated.

While
thoughtfully
designed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
incentive
schemes may encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
to stick to an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organization
, it may
also
prompt under-performers to quit. While
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
are unlikely to feel the need to retain under-performers a high attrition rate does not reflect well on the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
or its management. What’s more,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organizations
spend a great deal of time and money on training fresh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
. If
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
within a few months of joining, it is a sheer wastage of money and manpower.

In conclusion
, performance-based
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
incentives
encourage
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and healthy competition among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
.
However
, the same system may
also
cause resentment and hamper team efforts.
Also
in sectors where performance cannot
be measured
in terms of figures, this method
simply
wouldn’t
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
26Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay The best way of motivating workers is to offer them performance-based pay packets. v. 1

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
340 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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