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In many public places, the use of secret video cameras is being increased with the aim to reduce crime, but some people believe that this restricts individual freedom. Do the benefits of increased video secret security outweigh the drawbacks? v.2

In many public places, the use of secret video cameras is being increased with the aim to reduce crime, but some people believe that this restricts individual freedom. Do the benefits of increased video secret security outweigh the drawbacks? v. 2
It is true that video surveillance has become popular in many cities nowadays due to the purpose of reducing crimes. However, some individuals argue that these solutions will create a restriction for personal privacy. This essay will illustrate both the pros and cons of surveillance cameras in public and express my personal view. Increase of significant crimes in public places has become a controversial matter nowadays. Many crimes like kidnapping, drug dealings and murders are common in public places in recent years. I strongly agree that CCTV security camera system in the public is more useful for security departments in the country to find and recognize the crimes and the criminals who attempt to do. It is obvious that most of the shops and firms are being monitored by video recording system to reduce the shoplifting, as well as robberies and criminals, are less likely to commit crimes if they notice they are being watched. In addition, police departments find it easy to arrest the offenders without huge effort who are already committed to the crime in public places. Moreover, most of the crimes which happen in recently are solved and confirmed because of the secret video cameras which installed in the public places. For example, the terrorist attacks happen in Sri Lanka recently, security video cameras are directly useful for confirming and identifying the people who convict for the situation On the other hand, the development of the surveillance camera system has some drawback as well. Many people find this as an uncomfortable situation when the recording of their every single movement is a restriction of their privacy and freedom of their life. At the same time, some pictures and scenes which are taken from CCTV are publishing and sharing on social networks can be inappropriate to the society. In conclusion, my personal point is that Although, if there any potential drawback on security cameras in the public, they are useful for ensure the security of the citizens and always need to be encouraged to promote and installed in every nook and corner to protect the society
It is true that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
surveillance has become popular in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cities nowadays due to the purpose of reducing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals argue that these solutions will create a restriction for personal privacy. This essay will illustrate both the pros and cons of surveillance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cameras
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
and express my personal view.

Increase of significant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
has become a controversial matter nowadays.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
like kidnapping, drug dealings and murders are common in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
in recent years. I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that CCTV
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
security
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
camera
system in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
is more useful for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
security
departments in the country to find and recognize the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
and the criminals who attempt to do. It is obvious that most of the shops and firms are
being monitored
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
recording system to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the shoplifting,
as well
as robberies and criminals, are less likely to commit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
if they notice they are being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watched
.
In addition
, police departments find it easy to arrest the offenders without huge effort who are already committed to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
.
Moreover
, most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
which happen in recently
are solved
and confirmed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the secret
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cameras
which installed in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
.
For example
, the terrorist attacks happen in Sri Lanka recently,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
security
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cameras
are
directly
useful for confirming and identifying the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who convict for the
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
situation


On the other hand
, the development of the surveillance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
camera
system has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawback
as well
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
find this as an uncomfortable situation when the recording of their every single movement is a restriction of their privacy and freedom of their life. At the same time,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
pictures and scenes which
are taken
from CCTV are publishing and sharing on social networks can be inappropriate to the society.

In conclusion
, my personal point is that Although, if
Please check whether a verb is missing here or whether 'there' should be 'their'.
there any
potential drawback on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
security
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cameras
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
, they are useful for ensure the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
security
of the citizens and always need to
be encouraged
to promote and installed in every nook and corner to protect the society
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
33Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay In many public places, the use of secret video cameras is being increased with the aim to reduce crime, but some people believe that this restricts individual freedom. Do the benefits of increased video secret security outweigh the drawbacks? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
347 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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