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The tradition of families getting together to eat meals is disappearing. What are the reasons? What are the impacts? v.4

The tradition of families getting together to eat meals is disappearing. What are the reasons? What are the impacts? v. 4
These days, modern people are keen to have a meal alone or in a small group. In this regard, the old traditions such as eating meals and gathering together are disappearing. Although many people are reckoned to think that these traditions are important for the family members, others feel that such kinds of habits are not crucial for the small or nuclear family. On the one hand, it is true that the main reason for this is work schedule, as many individuals are willing to earn money in order to provide the necessary facilities for the family. In this reason, they are not spending much time at home. Accordingly, they have not free time for this activity. Furthermore, many people are willing to live in a small group rather than an extended family. To illustrate, many individuals are living in these kinds of households. As a result, they tend to have a dinner alone. On the other hand, it is clear that this tendency has many negative outcomes. It can influence on the way of living of people as well as on the society. The people may be isolated because of these habits. Moreover, it can affect the people's behaviour, as they can become selfish and egocentric. For example, they may behave themselves negatively and rude. Consequently, the people around them can be influenced by the mood of these individuals. In conclusion, although many people are keen to think that this trend is not essential for the modern lifestyle, others feel that individuals should be eating lunches and dinners with their relatives, as these kinds of activities make the ties stronger. In addition, it can impact on the mood.
These days, modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are keen to have a meal alone or in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
group. In this regard, the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
traditions such as eating meals and gathering together are disappearing. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are reckoned
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that these traditions are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for the family members, others feel that such kinds of habits are not crucial for the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
or nuclear family.

On the one hand, it is true that the main reason for this is work schedule, as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
individuals are willing to earn money in order to provide the necessary facilities for the family. In this reason, they are not spending much time at home.
Accordingly
, they have not free time for this activity.
Furthermore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are willing to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
group
rather
than an extended family. To illustrate,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
individuals are living in these kinds of households.
As a result
, they tend to
When we speak of types of meals, the article is not required: "have dinner".
have a dinner
alone.

On the other hand
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that this tendency has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
outcomes. It can influence on the way of living of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
as well
as on the society. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may
be isolated
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of these habits.
Moreover
, it can affect the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
, as they can become selfish and egocentric.
For example
, they may behave themselves
negatively
and rude.
Consequently
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
around them can
be influenced
by the mood of these individuals.

In conclusion
, although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are keen to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that this trend is not essential for the modern lifestyle, others feel that individuals should be eating lunches and dinners with their relatives, as these kinds of activities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the ties stronger.
In addition
, it can impact on the mood.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay The tradition of families getting together to eat meals is disappearing. What are the reasons? What are the impacts? v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
279 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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