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The three pie charts below shows the changes in annual spending by a particular UK school in 1981, 1991 and 2001. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant v.1

The three pie charts below shows the changes in annual spending by a particular UK school in 1981, 1991 and 2001.
It is important to consider whether the government should invest the tax payer's money on renovating the traditional buildings or constructing modern infrastructure. I strongly support the former view, in my perspective restoration of existing buildings is vital because these monuments not only represent the culture and heritage of the nation but also promote tourism. To begin with, it is quintessential for the government to spend money on the renovation of the old museums, temples and building, owing to the heritage value of these buildings. In other words, most of the ancient monuments were built by our ancestors which represent the uniqueness of ethnic values of the community and connect the society to the rich tradition. The UNESCO World Heritage site, the Ajanta and Ellora caves in India, serve the best example of the monuments which act as the epitome of cultural and religious heritage. Therefore, if these buildings are not maintained, then our future generation will possibly lose touch with history. Moreover, we must preserve historical constructions for our future generations and understand that even if one piece is destroyed, it is destroyed forever. Additionally, my viewpoint is further bolstered by the reason that the maintenance of ancient buildings leads to the promotion of tourism. The reason for this is these monuments always attract the tourists from different countries and maintaining them will add icing on the cake, as a result, a surge in tourists will lead to the economic development of the host country. For instance, 40% of the gross economy of India is dependent on tourism, in that situation renovation and preservation of ancient tourist places is extremely important. In conclusion, although renovation and restoration involve a substantial amount of money, in my view, it is more beneficial in comparison to the construction of new ones in terms of preserving the nation's ethnicity and promoting national tourism.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to consider whether the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should invest the tax payer's money on renovating the traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
or constructing modern infrastructure. I
strongly
support the former view, in my perspective restoration of existing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
is vital
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
monuments
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
represent the culture and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
heritage
of the nation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
promote tourism.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, it is quintessential for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to spend money on the renovation of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
museums, temples and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
, owing to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
heritage
value of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
.
In other words
, most of the ancient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
monuments
were built
by our ancestors which represent the uniqueness of ethnic values of the community and connect the society to the rich tradition. The UNESCO World
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Heritage
site, the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ajanta
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ellora
caves in India, serve the best example of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
monuments
which act as the epitome of cultural and religious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
heritage
.
Therefore
, if these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
are not maintained, then our future generation will
possibly
lose touch with history.
Moreover
, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
preserve historical constructions for our future generations and understand that even if one piece is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroyed
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroyed
forever.

Additionally
, my viewpoint is
further
bolstered by the reason that the maintenance of ancient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
leads to the promotion of tourism.
The reason for this is
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
monuments
always attract the tourists from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries and maintaining them will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
icing on the cake,
as a result
, a surge in tourists will lead to the economic development of the host country.
For instance
, 40% of the gross economy of India is dependent on tourism, in that situation renovation and preservation of ancient tourist places is
extremely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.

In conclusion
, although renovation and restoration involve a substantial amount of money, in my view, it is more beneficial
in comparison
to the construction of new ones in terms of preserving the nation's ethnicity and promoting national tourism.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
Language is the blood of the soul into which thoughts run and out of which they grow.
Oliver Wendell Holmes

IELTS essay The three pie charts below shows the changes in annual spending by a particular UK school in 1981, 1991 and 2001.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
310 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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