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The 3 pie charts show the total school spending in all three years (1981, 1991 and 2001) in the UK. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. v.1

The 3 pie charts show the total school spending in all three years (1981, 1991 and 2001) in the UK.
The hectic pace of life of many city residents today leaves little time to take regular exercise. When they arrive home exhausted, they lack the energy to practice sports, go to a gym or simply to go for a walk. While this situation is obviously detrimental to people’s health, there are effective solutions which could alleviate the problem. Contemporary life in a city is not easy, and incorporating a fitness regime as part of a healthy lifestyle is rarely high on the agenda of busy urban residents. One major factor is a heavy workload, as most industrial and office jobs are physically and mentally demanding. This problem is compounded by the time that it takes to commute to and from work, often on overcrowded public transport, which grinds to a halt at peak times. As a result, people arrive home tired, they shut the front door and soon lapse into a sedentary lifestyle of watching TV. Even children may have to face long journeys to school, getting up early and coming back exhausted late in the evening. Companies and governments could both play a part in remedying this situation. Businesses could offer job-sharing to their employees, or flexible working hours so that rush hour traffic jams could be avoided. People would then have extra time and energy to do more exercise. National and local authorities should allocate resources to health awareness campaigns, in order to motivate city residents to keep fit. At the same time, funding could be provided for community sports centres in each city neighbourhood and, as in New York for example, free fitness classes in local parks. In conclusion, if city residents could spend less time on working and travelling, they could be motivated to take more exercise by accessing improved fitness amenities.
The hectic pace of life of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
city
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
residents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leaves
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to take regular exercise. When they arrive home exhausted, they lack the energy to practice sports, go to a gym or
simply
to go for a walk. While this situation is
obviously
detrimental to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s health, there are effective solutions which could alleviate the problem.

Contemporary life in a city is not easy, and incorporating a fitness regime as part of a healthy lifestyle is rarely high on the agenda of busy urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
residents
. One major factor is a heavy workload, as most industrial and office jobs are
physically
and mentally demanding. This problem
is compounded
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
that it takes to commute to and from work,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
on overcrowded public transport, which grinds to a halt at peak
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
.
As a result
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
arrive home tired, they shut the front door and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
lapse into a sedentary lifestyle of watching TV. Even children may
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
face long journeys to school, getting up early and coming back exhausted late in the evening.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Companies
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
could both play a part in remedying this situation. Businesses could offer job-sharing to their employees, or flexible working hours
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that rush hour traffic jams could
be avoided
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
would then have extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and energy to do more exercise. National and local authorities should allocate resources to health awareness campaigns, in order to motivate city
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
residents
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
fit. At the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, funding could
be provided
for community sports
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
in each city
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbourhood' is British English.
neighbourhood
and, as in New York
for example
, free fitness classes in local parks.

In conclusion
, if city
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
residents
could spend less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on working and travelling, they could
be motivated
to take more exercise by accessing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
fitness amenities.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay The 3 pie charts show the total school spending in all three years (1981, 1991 and 2001) in the UK.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
296 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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