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The breakthroughs in medical science are by far the most significant advances in world society over the last two centuries Discuss the statement and give your opinion v.3

The breakthroughs in medical science are by far the most significant advances in world society over the last two centuries Discuss the statement and give your opinion v. 3
With the advancement in technology, anyone's private life can be published in a newspaper. I agree that politicians' lives should not be published in newspapers or any other medium no matter what the story is. In the following paragraphs, I will discuss both scenarios on this serious issue. Politicians private lives should not be discussed no matter how bad or good they are. Discussing someone's private matters can be taken as a very personal matter and there are no benefits in discussing someone's matter instead it backfires many times in terms of different controversies. For example, In first world countries, It is banned to publish any politician or celebrity life in the newspaper or any other medium to give them total control of their private life. Furthermore, If it is published in the newspaper, then there might be some consequences. However, publishing the private life will demoralize the victim who is working day and night for the country resulting the resignation from the duty. For example, In Pakistan once there was a general who was very obedient to his country, but once his private life gets published in the electronic media and other mediums resulting his resignation from the services right away. To sum up, I believe it is better to avoid publishing anyone private lives on electronic media or any other medium either they are a politician or not. Despite the awareness and protection of this cause some media will still showcase politician’s private life to increase their channel views and ratings.
With the advancement in technology, anyone's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
can
be published
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspaper
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that politicians'
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
should not
be published
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
or any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medium
no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
matter
what the story is. In the following paragraphs, I will discuss both scenarios on this serious issue.

Politicians
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
should not
be discussed
no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
matter
how
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
they are. Discussing someone's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
matters
can
be taken
as a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
matter
and there are no benefits in discussing someone's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
matter
instead
it backfires
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
times in terms of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
controversies.
For example
, In
first
world countries, It
is banned
to publish any politician or celebrity
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspaper
or any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medium
to give them total control of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
life.

Furthermore
, If it
is published
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspaper
, then there might be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
consequences.
However
, publishing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
will demoralize the victim who is working day and night for the country resulting the resignation from the duty.
For example
, In Pakistan once there was a general who was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
obedient to his country,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
once his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
published in the electronic media and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mediums
resulting his resignation from the services right away.

To sum up, I believe it is better to avoid publishing anyone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
on electronic media or any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medium
either they are a politician or not. Despite the awareness and protection of this cause
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
media will
still
showcase politician’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
to increase their channel views and ratings.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay The breakthroughs in medical science are by far the most significant advances in world society over the last two centuries Discuss the statement and give your opinion v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
253 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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