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the tendency of humans beings to copy one another is shown in the popularity of fashion clothes and consumer goods. to what extent do you agree? v.1

the tendency of humans beings to copy one another is shown in the popularity of fashion clothes and consumer goods. v. 1
Increasing use of social media by young children without adequate supervision from their parents or caretakers, is of a grave concern for the society at large. This essay will first explain how the un-monitored use of the internet is driving youngsters towards criminal activities, followed by my ideas in which parents can fix this issue. Children having unfettered access to social networking websites are getting them mixed up in many illegal activities. At this age, kids are very impressionable and are learning to form their own views on many social aspects of life. At such a time, bad fractions of the society can lure and brainwash them with false information such that children often start believing in their cause. This has led to an increase in many teenagers involved in crimes. For instance, a recent survey done by the FBI showed that almost every terrorist organization these days are using online propaganda to recruit young people. Because of such a dangerous implication, it is imperative that parents monitor the online presence of their kids. I believe that parents can control this by blocking the websites which are known to be dangerous. This can impede their access to harmful materials which prevents them from developing a criminal mindset. If children are curtailed from exploring bad campaigns they are less prone to falling a culprit to online recruitments. For example, it was said in a recent article published by New York times, that blocking certain indecent websites in school, helped the students stay away from problematic content and their views about those topics were very positive. Hence blockage of online content can work magic into diverting kids' attention to good ideas. To summarize, the rise in teenage kids’ limitless usage of the internet these days should concern everyone in general because they can easily fall prey to illegitimate agendas. Hence parents should cut down the access of social media or at least have a better control on it.
Increasing
use
of
social
media by young children without adequate supervision from their
parents
or caretakers, is of a grave concern for the society at large. This essay will
first
explain
how the
un-monitored
use
of the internet is driving youngsters towards criminal activities, followed by my
ideas
in which
parents
can
fix
this issue.

Children having unfettered access to
social
networking websites are getting them mixed up in
many
illegal activities. At this age, kids are
very
impressionable and are learning to form their
own
views on
many
social
aspects of life. At such a time,
bad
fractions of the society can lure and brainwash them with false information such that children
often
start
believing in their cause. This has led to an increase in
many
teenagers
involved in crimes.
For instance
, a recent survey done by the FBI
showed
that almost every terrorist organization these days are using
online
propaganda to recruit young
people
.
Because
of such a
dangerous
implication, it is imperative that
parents
monitor the
online
presence of their kids.

I believe that
parents
can control this by blocking the websites which
are known
to be
dangerous
. This can impede their access to harmful materials which
prevents
them from developing a criminal mindset. If children
are curtailed
from exploring
bad
campaigns they are less prone to falling a culprit to
online
recruitments.
For example
, it
was said
in a recent article published by
New York times
, that blocking certain indecent websites in school,
helped
the students stay away from problematic content and their views about those topics were
very
positive
.
Hence
blockage of
online
content can work magic into diverting kids' attention to
good
ideas
.

To summarize
, the rise in teenage kids’ limitless usage of the internet these days should concern everyone
in general
because
they can
easily
fall prey to illegitimate agendas.
Hence
parents
should
cut
down the access of
social
media or at least have a better control on it.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay the tendency of humans beings to copy one another is shown in the popularity of fashion clothes and consumer goods. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
326 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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