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Social media badly impact our relationships. To what extent do you agree or disagree v.1

Social media badly impact our relationships. v. 1
At the present day we cannot think of our lives without social media. Some people think that social media is influencing our daily life to such an extent that it is starting to affect our relationships. I completely agree with the point and this essay will discuss about this issue in great detail. Nowadays we are linked together with social media like Facebook, Linkedin, Whatsapp, Viber, Imo etc. We feel restless, if we are disconnected from these social platforms, even for a second. We keep our profile always updated with the latest information about our travels, foods, functions etc. Some people even take their mobile phone to the washroom, so that they do not miss any updates from their digital friends. Everyone in social media has hundreds of friends and most of our valuable time is wasted on communicating with them over minor issues, for example giving likes, share and comments on their posts. Although using social media to communicate with friends is not a crime, we are wasting too much of our valuable time on the internet and that is creating issue in our relationships. In current times, real friends are very hard to come by, but we can see that with the help of these social media we have thousands. Are they real friends? Obviously not. We are giving preference to these virtual friends over our real life friends and family. As a result, the distances are created between our relationships. A recent study has shown that five percent of divorces have happened because of social media where a partner is giving more importance to social friends over his partner. To summarize, it is very clear that everyone should take great care while using these social platforms because it can ruin or even break our relationships, if we become addicted to it. On the other hand, if we use it occasionally, then there will be no problem as we will have complete control over our lives.
At the present day we cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
of our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
is influencing our daily life to such an extent that it is starting to affect our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationships
. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the point and this essay will
Did you mean simply "discuss this"? You do not need the word "about" here.
discuss about this
issue in great detail.

Nowadays we
are linked
together with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
like Facebook,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Linkedin
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Whatsapp
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Viber
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Imo
etc. We feel restless, if we
are disconnected
from these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
platforms, even for a second. We
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
our profile always updated with the latest information about our travels, foods, functions etc.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
even take their mobile phone to the washroom,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they do not miss any updates from their digital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
. Everyone in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
has hundreds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
and most of our valuable time
is wasted
on communicating with them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
minor issues,
for example
giving likes, share and comments on their posts.

Although using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
to communicate with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
is not a crime, we are wasting too much of our valuable time on the internet and
that is
creating issue in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationships
. In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
times, real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
by,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
we have thousands. Are they real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
?
Obviously
not. We are giving preference to these virtual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
our real life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
and family.
As a result
, the distances
are created
between our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationships
. A recent study has shown that five percent of divorces have happened
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
where a partner is giving more importance to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
his partner.

To summarize
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that everyone should take great care while using these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
platforms
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it can ruin or even break our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationships
, if we become addicted to it.
On the other hand
, if we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it
occasionally
, then there will be no problem as we will have complete control
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes
The conquest of learning is achieved through the knowledge of languages.
Roger Bacon

IELTS essay Social media badly impact our relationships. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
328 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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