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Some people think that newspapers are the best way to learn news. However, others believe that they can learn news better through media. Discuss both view and give your opinion. v.5

Some people think that newspapers are the best way to learn news. However, others believe that they can learn news better through media. v. 5
In these days, environmental contamination has aroused people’s discussion. However, it is argued by some that authorities and large cooperation should be the ones to tackle this intricate issue. My belief is that preserving the Earth’s ecosystem is the responsibility for both individuals and governments. To begin with, it is true that some environmental issues are too big for the individuals to deal with. In order for serious problem, such as global warming, prolonged droughts, violent storms or other extreme weather events, to be effectively addressed, it requires the effort and cooperation of politicians and large environmental organizations. This is because the government could pass laws to limit the emission from factories and industries and gradually, they can force the companies to use renewable energy from water, wind or solar power. Apart from that, since environmental damage is a global issue, they can work for an effective international climate treaty negotiation so that international efforts can be ensured in reducing environmental damages worldwide. Clearly, governments and companies play an important role in reducing those heads-aching environmental problems. On the other hand, since the awareness among individuals is raised, it will become possible to achieve environmental protection. In fact, lighting our homes, driving a car, heating our room and throwing away trash all lead to greenhouse gas emission that causes environmental damage severely. By reducing emission through simple actions such as switching to energy-efficient lighting, improving the efficiency of home appliances, reducing energy required for heating, and so on. This means that small actions are taken by citizen can slow down and eventually stop environmental issues. In conclusion, for the reason given above, both individuals and governments play an important role in preserving the environment. From my point of view I strongly believe that it makes more sense for both individuals and authorities to collaborate and take part in protecting the environment.
In these days,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
contamination has aroused
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s discussion.
However
, it
is argued
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
that authorities and large cooperation should be the ones to tackle this intricate issue. My belief is that preserving the Earth’s ecosystem is the responsibility for both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, it is true that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
issues are too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
to deal with. In order for serious problem, such as global warming, prolonged droughts, violent storms or other extreme weather
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
, to be
effectively
addressed, it requires the effort and cooperation of politicians and large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
organizations. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
could pass laws to limit the emission from factories and industries and
gradually
, they can force the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
renewable energy from water, wind or solar power. Apart from that, since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
damage is a global issue, they can work for an effective international climate treaty negotiation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that international efforts can
be ensured
in reducing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
damages worldwide.
Clearly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
play an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in reducing those heads-aching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
problems.

On the other hand
, since the awareness among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
is raised
, it will become possible to achieve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
protection. In fact, lighting our homes, driving a car, heating our room and throwing away trash all lead to greenhouse gas emission that causes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
damage
severely
. By reducing emission through simple actions such as switching to energy-efficient lighting, improving the efficiency of home appliances, reducing energy required for heating, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. This means that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
actions
are taken
by citizen can slow down and
eventually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
issues.

In conclusion
, for the reason
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
above, both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
play an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in preserving the environment. From my point of view I
strongly
believe that it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
more sense for both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
and authorities to collaborate and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in protecting the environment.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that newspapers are the best way to learn news. However, others believe that they can learn news better through media. v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
311 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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