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It is neither possible nor useful to provide university places for a high portion of young people. To what extend do you agree or disagree? v.2

It is neither possible nor useful to provide university places for a high portion of young people. v. 2
Some people state that providing university places for a large number of young people is both impossible and useless. After explicating this argument, I agree with it because of the following reasons. First and foremost, a degree from a top-tier academic institution is no longer a guarantee for a job, even in the knowledge-based society. A high majority of students decide not to attend college, but work right after graduating since hands-on experience and interpersonal skills via working are somehow more valuable and beneficial than theoretical but useless information. Additionally, after years in the real work environment, their skills are sharpened, minds are broadened, and their expertise is famous through challenging tasks they underwent. Bill Gates, for instance, the founder of Microsoft organization, chose to drop out of school, set up Microsoft, and is recently recruiting technology prodigies for his company. On the other hand, only deserved and potential students are able to attend college since its resources is not limited and they should be suitably and reasonably allocated to someone who can use them best. In fact, only academically talented students who already have a good grasp of subjects they are learning will be capable of handling the heavy workload and pressure at university as well as rarely find themselves being out of their depth. In Vietnam, the demand for acquiring knowledge and information has never ceased to grow, but it also leads to a high drop-out tertiary education since most students are easily bombarded with new knowledge, fall behind, and usually end up with dropping out. Therefore, the acquisition of new knowledge is a key to success, and it should be only placed in academic high-flyers. To summarize, I agree with the aforementioned idea that placing higher education for a high majority of students is better because of the above-mentioned opinions.
Some
people
state that providing university places for
a large number of
young
people
is both impossible and useless. After explicating this argument, I
agree
with it
because
of the following reasons.

First
and foremost, a degree from a top-tier academic institution is no longer a guarantee for a job, even in the knowledge-based society. A high majority of
students
decide not to attend college,
but
work right after graduating since hands-on experience and interpersonal
skills
via working are somehow more valuable and beneficial than theoretical
but
useless information.
Additionally
, after years in the real work environment, their
skills
are sharpened
, minds
are broadened
, and their expertise is
famous
through challenging tasks they underwent. Bill Gates,
for instance
, the founder of Microsoft organization, chose to drop out of school, set up Microsoft, and is recently recruiting technology prodigies for his
company
.

On the other hand
,
only
deserved and potential
students
are able to attend college since its resources is not
limited and
they should be
suitably
and
reasonably
allocated to someone who can
use
them best. In fact,
only
academically
talented
students
who already have a
good
grasp of subjects they are learning will be capable of handling the heavy workload and pressure at university
as well
as rarely find themselves being out of their depth. In Vietnam, the demand for acquiring knowledge and information has never ceased to grow,
but
it
also
leads to a high drop-out tertiary education since most
students
are
easily
bombarded with new knowledge, fall behind, and
usually
end
up with dropping out.
Therefore
, the acquisition of new knowledge is a key to success, and it should be
only
placed in academic high-flyers.

To summarize
, I
agree
with the aforementioned
idea
that placing higher education for a high majority of
students
is better
because
of the above-mentioned opinions.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay It is neither possible nor useful to provide university places for a high portion of young people. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
303 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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