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The tables below show the students per lecturer and the number of students in various practice and lecture based subjects Summarise the information in the following three tables and make comparisons where relevant v.1

The tables below show the students per lecturer and the number of students in various practice and lecture based subjects
More often than not, there is an increase in the number of young people seeking for jobs as well as older people. While this trend has led to numerous problems such as unemployment of older people and an increase in their financial burden, however, it can be abated by implementing the measures discussed below. Firstly, older people do not often get a better chance of employment when in competition with younger applicants, thus, leading to unemployment. In other words, companies often prefer younger applicants because of the developments of the latest technology that involves the use of high tech gadget which older adults are unfamiliar with, therefore, leading to their loss of jobs. Secondly, increased competition with younger job seekers will most likely result to more financial strain on older people leading them to bankruptcy or in some severe case, depression. Take for example, a man in his late fifties with a family of five who is made redundant because the company needs to downsize will be forced to live on his savings or depend on credit facilities to enable him to provide for his family. This usually leads to heavy financial burden which might further escalate to health issues such as depression. One main measure to tackle these challenges is for companies to change their employment policies to accommodate older employees. This will ensure that older people have the same opportunity to secure a job when competing with younger applicants. In addition, companies should offer trainings in the use of High technology gadgets when necessary. This will help the older people get the required skills required for the roles that they are applying for. In conclusion, it is a clear fact that companies have a major role to play in ensuring that both the young and old are adequately represented in their organizations. This can be achieved by regulating their policies to accommodate older people as well as offering useful training to them when required.
More
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
than not, there is an increase in the number of young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
seeking for jobs
as well
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. While this trend has led to numerous problems such as unemployment of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and an increase in their financial burden,
however
, it can
be abated
by implementing the measures discussed below.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a better chance of employment when in competition with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
younger
applicants,
thus
, leading to unemployment.
In other words
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
prefer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
younger
applicants
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the developments of the latest technology that involves the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of high tech gadget which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
adults are unfamiliar with,
therefore
, leading to their loss of jobs.

Secondly
, increased competition with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
younger
job seekers will most likely result to more financial strain on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
leading them to bankruptcy or in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
severe case, depression. Take
for example
, a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
in his late fifties with a family of five who
is made
redundant
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
needs to downsize will
be forced
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
on his savings or depend on credit facilities to enable him to provide for his family. This
usually
leads to heavy financial burden which might
further
escalate to health issues such as depression.

One main measure to tackle these challenges is for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their employment policies to accommodate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
employees. This will ensure that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have the same opportunity to secure a job when competing with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
younger
applicants.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
should offer trainings in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of High technology gadgets when necessary. This will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the required
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
required for the roles that they are applying for.

In conclusion
, it is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
have a major role to play in ensuring that both the young and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
are
adequately
represented in their organizations. This can
be achieved
by regulating their policies to accommodate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
as well
as offering useful training to them when required.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay The tables below show the students per lecturer and the number of students in various practice and lecture based subjects

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
326 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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