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The table shows the consumer durables (telephone, refrigerator, etc. ) owned in britain from 1972 to 1983. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below. v.1

The table shows the consumer durables (telephone, refrigerator, etc. ) owned in britain from 1972 to 1983. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below. v. 1
There is no doubt that most adults spend the majority of their day at work. Thus, it is extremely important that their job is both rewarding and fulfilling. In this essay, I will examine factors related to job satisfaction and how realistic these factors are. First of all, the most important reason that people work is for the money. A recent survey by a leading HR firm revealed that people working in a high paying job are 80% happier than those who are not. However, job satisfaction is not only limited to financial reward. The office environment and the long term prospect of the career path are equally important. For example, people whose efforts are not being appreciated by their company will not be enjoying what they are doing. On the other hand, many people may be enjoying their lives at the workplace; nevertheless, the limited money that they earn might make them unhappy with their profession. For example, many artists find it difficult to make a living even though they may feel lucky to be doing what they love. So, in order to have a highly satisfied career, a person needs to be making a career that they enjoy, working for a company with a great environment, and getting paid for what they deserve. All these components are essential to achieving occupational satisfaction. Realistically, it is not easy for someone to have all that under the same roof. In conclusion, it is very difficult to get an ideal work that satisfies all the requirements of job achievement. However, everyone can still be happy with reporting to work every day if they are willing to make some sacrifices.
There is no doubt that most adults spend the majority of their day at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
Thus
, it is
extremely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
that their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
is both rewarding and fulfilling. In this essay, I will examine factors related to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
satisfaction and how realistic these factors are.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
reason that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
is for the money. A recent survey by a leading HR firm revealed that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
working in a high paying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
are 80% happier than those who are not.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
satisfaction is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
limited to financial reward. The office environment and the long term prospect of the career path are
equally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
whose efforts are not
being appreciated
by their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
will not be enjoying what they are doing.
On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may be enjoying their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
at the workplace;
nevertheless
, the limited money that they earn might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them unhappy with their profession.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
artists find it difficult to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a living
even though
they may feel lucky to be doing what they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, in order to have a
highly
satisfied career, a person needs to be making a career that they enjoy, working for a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
with a great environment, and getting paid for what they deserve. All these components are essential to achieving occupational satisfaction.
Realistically
, it is not easy for someone to have all that under the same roof.

In conclusion
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
difficult to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
an ideal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
that satisfies all the requirements of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
achievement.
However
, everyone can
still
be happy with reporting to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
every day if they are willing to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
sacrifices.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Language is the road map of a culture. It tells you where its people come from and where they are going.
Rita Mae Brown

IELTS essay The table shows the consumer durables (telephone, refrigerator, etc. ) owned in britain from 1972 to 1983. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
278 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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