Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Computer games is very popular in all ages and nations. Parent think it has little educational value and more harmful effects. What is your opinion about this. Give example based on your own experience. v.2

Computer games is very popular in all ages and nations. Parent think it has little educational value and more harmful effects. What is your opinion about this. Give example based on your own experience. v. 2
There are many benefits coming from travelling abroad, such as generating high revenue or creating worldwide connection. Nevertheless, opponents have pointed out that international tourism creates prejudice and tensions between people from different nationalities. In this essay I intend to delve into the causes of this situation and suggest some ways to alleviate the problem. There are various causes can be put forward to elaborated why foreign tourists become biased and cold instead of receptive and indulgent. First and foremost, it is understandable that, without cultural knowledge, foreigners may unknowingly show disrespect to local tradition, which then offend local people. For example, wearing formal clothes is considered sacred in Vietnam temples; however, this may not hold any value for the tourists and leads to uncomfortable feelings for both sides. Secondly, whether we want to admit or not, stereotyping about countries and places is spread out widely by the media, which explains why foreigners have more preconceived negative opinions about their destinations. To illustrate, the dwellers of economically developed countries consider the other people inferior, and the bad attitude is developed not only in tourists but also in local residences. For instance, in 1980s, the Americans tourists usually deny Vietnamese fish sauce as they think it is smelly even its smell does not diffuse in small areas. This created many conflicts later when Vietnam airline wants to add this sauce in their menu on flight for Vietnamese. While many Vietnamese support the idea, foreigners on planes are unhappy. Although the causes may sound horrible, there are many measures we can apply to fix the problems. To begin with, tour operators have to take the onus of guiding tourists about the main things of local culture. In other words, foreigners should adopt the broader outlook and must expand their vision to enjoy their travelling. Secondly, in order to eliminate stereotyping, local interactions should be promoted by encouraging home stays so that the differences between reality and media portrayal can come to the surface. Finally, governments and schools should conduct the seminars to promote the secular and world friendly outlook which then helps everyone to be tolerant enough to respect the differences. In conclusion, international travel does have negative effects on people because of misunderstand the differences in culture as well as strong stereotypes from the media. However, they are mostly objective causes which can effectively omit by raising awareness for travellers through many channels like tour operators, local services, governments and school.
There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits coming from travelling abroad, such as generating high revenue or creating worldwide connection.
Nevertheless
, opponents have pointed out that international tourism creates prejudice and tensions between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
nationalities. In this essay I intend to delve into the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
causes
of this situation and suggest
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
ways to alleviate the problem.

There are various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
causes
can
be put
forward to elaborated why foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
become biased and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cold
instead
of receptive and indulgent.
First
and foremost, it is understandable that, without cultural knowledge,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreigners
may
unknowingly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
disrespect to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
tradition, which then offend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
For example
, wearing formal clothes
is considered
sacred in Vietnam temples;
however
, this may not hold any value for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
and leads to uncomfortable feelings for both sides.

Secondly
, whether we want to admit or not, stereotyping about countries and places
is spread
out
widely
by the media, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explains
why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreigners
have more preconceived
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
opinions about their destinations. To illustrate, the dwellers of
economically
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developed countries
consider the other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
inferior, and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
attitude
is developed
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
residences.
For instance
,
The article is probably missing here: "in the 1980s".
in 1980s
, the Americans
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
usually
deny Vietnamese fish sauce as they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is smelly even its smell does not diffuse in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
areas. This created
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
conflicts later when Vietnam airline wants to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
this sauce in their menu on flight for Vietnamese. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Vietnamese support the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreigners
on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
planes
are unhappy.

Although the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
causes
may sound horrible, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
measures we can apply to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fix
the problems. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, tour operators
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
take the onus of guiding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
about the main things of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
culture.
In other words
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreigners
should adopt the broader outlook and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
expand their vision to enjoy their travelling.
Secondly
, in order to eliminate stereotyping,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
interactions should
be promoted
by encouraging home stays
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that the differences between reality and media portrayal can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to the surface.
Finally
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
and schools should conduct the seminars to promote the secular and world friendly outlook which then
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
everyone to be tolerant
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to respect the differences.

In conclusion
, international travel does have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of misunderstand the differences in culture
as well
as strong stereotypes from the media.
However
, they are
mostly
objective
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
causes
which can
effectively
omit by raising awareness for
Possible spelling mistake found.
travellers
through
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
channels like tour operators,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
services,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
and school.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Computer games is very popular in all ages and nations. Parent think it has little educational value and more harmful effects. What is your opinion about this. Give example based on your own experience. v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
410 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts