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Both the poor and the rich find the accessibility into university difficult. Do you agree or disagree? v.6

Both the poor and the rich find the accessibility into university difficult. v. 6
Education system has changed drastically over the years among all parts of the world. It is considered by many that university admission has become challenging for both the wealthy and the underprivileged. This essay will argue why getting into university is tough regardless of the economic condition. The main reason is that admission to most universities has grown extremely competitive. They have raised their entrance requirements when selecting application. By this I mean higher grades and test scores in high school and in entrance examination respectively. According to an article in NewYork Times, the average GPA among admitted students last year was higher than 4. 0 with SAT score of 2140. This shows that the applicants will have a harder time as the competition for admission is only expected to intensify. Although many qualified students will face hardship, few may easily get through by donation and quotas. Whether the university is private or state-funded, all of them have some seats reserved in management and underprivileged quota. For example, the management seat in Harvard University for the Business Analysts course can be brought for one million US dollars. In addition, it admits poor students belonging to minority community if they had outperformed their academic studies. Overall, the university admission is troublesome but very few may get through smoothly. This essay argued that why people found it difficult to get admission in university irrespective of their financial condition. I would like to conclude that university admission these days are tough and will become tougher with time as competition increases.
Education system has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
drastically
over the years among all parts of the world. It
is considered
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
admission
has become challenging for both the wealthy and the underprivileged. This essay will argue why getting into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
is tough regardless of the economic condition.

The main reason is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
admission
to most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
has grown
extremely
competitive. They have raised their entrance requirements when selecting application. By this I mean higher grades and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
scores in high school and in entrance examination
respectively
. According to an article in
Possible spelling mistake found.
NewYork
Times, the average GPA among admitted students last year was higher than 4. 0 with SAT score of 2140. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that the applicants will have a harder time as the competition for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
admission
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
to intensify.

Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
qualified students will face hardship,
Possible agreement error. The noun may seems to be uncountable; consider using: "little may".
few may
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
through by donation and quotas. Whether the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
is private or state-funded, all of them have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
seats reserved in management and underprivileged quota.
For example
, the management seat in Harvard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
for the Business Analysts course can
be brought
for one million US dollars.
In addition
, it admits poor students belonging to minority community if they had outperformed their academic studies.
Overall
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
admission
is troublesome
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
Possible agreement error. The noun may seems to be uncountable; consider using: "little may".
few may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
through
smoothly
.

This essay argued that why
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
found it difficult to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
admission
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
irrespective of their financial condition. I would like
to conclude
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
admission
these days are tough and will become tougher with time as competition increases.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Both the poor and the rich find the accessibility into university difficult. v. 6

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
257 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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