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The table below shows social and economic indicators for countries in 1994, according to United Nations statistics. v.1

The table below shows social and economic indicators for countries in 1994, according to United Nations statistics. v. 1
The problem of noise pollution is currently increasing in the modern society. While some individuals believe the levels of noise being created should be strictly controlled, I would argue that people should have the right to produce noise if they want to. On the one hand, there are several reasons why the government should control the amount of noise produced. The first reason is that too much noise can significantly affect people's health. Living in a place that is too noisy can cause problems such as headaches, which can decrease the health levels of people, especially old ones. Additionally, noise can disturb people's work or study. For example, a university student will not be able to concentrate on his preparation for exams if his neighbors keep singing too loud. On the other hand, I believe people can make as much noise as they want because of some reasons. Firstly, producing noise is sometimes considered a type of recreational activities. For instance, singing or cheering for a football club can be relaxing, and everyone has the right to do those things. Secondly, as the world is becoming more modern, people have found ways to deal with the problem of noise. Scientists have invented walls and windows that can block out the noise, which allows individuals to focus on their work without being disturbed. Therefore, the problem of noise can be reduced and there is no need for people to keep quiet. In conclusion, while there are reasons why the levels of noise should be limited, I believe people should have the right to make noise.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
noise
pollution is
currently
increasing in the modern society. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals believe the levels of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
noise
being created
should be
strictly
controlled, I would argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should have the right to produce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
noise
if they want to.

On the one hand, there are several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
why the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should control the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
noise
produced. The
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is that too much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
noise
can
significantly
affect
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's health. Living in a place
that is
too noisy can cause
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
such as headaches, which can decrease the health levels of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
especially
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
ones.
Additionally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
noise
can disturb
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's work or study.
For example
, a university student will not be able to concentrate on his preparation for exams if his neighbors
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
singing too loud.

On the other hand
, I believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
as much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
noise
as they want
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
.
Firstly
, producing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
noise
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
considered a type of recreational activities.
For instance
, singing or cheering for a football club can be relaxing, and everyone has the right to do those things.
Secondly
, as the world is becoming more modern,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have found ways to deal with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
noise
. Scientists have invented walls and windows that can block out the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
noise
, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
individuals to focus on their work without
being disturbed
.
Therefore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
noise
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
and there is no need for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
quiet.

In conclusion
, while there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
why the levels of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
noise
should
be limited
, I believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should have the right to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
noise
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay The table below shows social and economic indicators for countries in 1994, according to United Nations statistics. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
264 words
7.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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